While viewing a commercial for ProActive:
My Niece: Ooo Grammy, that's what you need!
My Mom: Really? Why do you think I need ProActive?
My Niece: (pointing at my mom's freckles) Because of all of this on your face.
My Mom: Oh no honey, those are just freckles. Your mommy has them too and so does Auntie.
I just have a lot more. Does it look that bad?
My Niece: YES! You should get rid of it!
Ouch! At least she's honest...
Don't forget to enter the Path to Peace contest here.
Monday, November 30, 2009
While viewing a commercial for ProActive:
Thursday, November 26, 2009
2. My Husband
3. My baby boy
4. My family
5. Being employed
9. getting a break from work
10. Barack Obama
What are you thankful for this year? Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
As a kid growing up I always loved the holidays: spending time with extended family, playing games, and of course, EATING GREAT FOOD. As a young adult, holiday were not as much fun because my parents got divorced. I felt torn between the two families, so I would spend all of the holidays driving all over creation to please everyone except for myself. Now that I am older and wiser, I do the holidays my way. I go wherever I feel comfortable going, and I've learned how to say no. Surprisingly, no one's feelings are hurt.
This year, we are hosting Thanksgiving at my house. I think it's becoming a tradition. My husband's family came over last year for Thanksgiving and this year my family is coming over. One thing I really love about my family gatherings is the games. You'll find us singing karaoke, throwin' down on some spades or Phase 10, or wildin' out over Taboo or Scene It. If you have a problem with noise, steer clear of my family during the holidays. WE ARE LOUD!
I know you are thinking, okay on with the giveaway. A couple weeks ago I had a giveaway for the Macy's Path to Peace O Bracelet via The Blogrollers. This time I'll be giving away a Macy's Path 2 Peace Basket.
Here is the basket and placemats I received courtesy of the Macy's Path to Peace project.
Here are some links to more information about how the Path to Peace project is bringing together the women of Rwanda and New Orleans for the greater good of their respective communities.
The Origin of Path to Peace
Macy's In-Store Events for Path to Peace
Macy's is having a series of FREE in-store events for Path to Peace. There will be product discounts, door prizes, and special guests from Fair Winds Trading and...you guessed it...Rwanda! Below are the dates and cities. Feel free to spread the word about these events on your blog, to your communities, and to your friends/family. Formal announcements will also be on The BlogRollers Blog prior to each one.
*Atlanta: Macy’s Thu, December 3 - 6:30pm
Washington DC: Macy’s Metro Center Fri, - 5:30pm
Brooklyn: Macy’s Downtown Brooklyn Sat, - 3:00pm
Miami: Macy’s Dadeland Home Store Sun, December 6 - 3:00pm
*New Orleans: Macy’s Lakeside Tues, December 8 - 6:00pm
Louisville: Macy’s Oxmoor Center Sat, December 12 - 3:00pm
*The BlogRollers will be live streaming from these events!
You can do any or all of the following to win a basket. The more you do, the more entries you get.
1. Follow my blog
2. Follow me on twitter @joanofalltrades
3. Follow The Blogrollers blog
4. Follow The Blogrollers on twitter @theblogrollers
5. Tweet the contest (link to this post)
6. Post about the contest (link to this post)
*** Best of all, you do not need to write me individual comments for each one. Just leave me 1 comment saying, "I've done x, y, and, z and I would love to win a basket."***
The winner will be chosen by random.org. The contest ends on December 13th at 10pm EST. Good Luck!
Happy Thanksgiving! What are your holiday traditions?
Friday, November 20, 2009
Last weekend my dad and his wife came down for a visit. Here are a couple of the conversations that had me saying, WTH. Some of the best laughter I've had this year...
Conversation 1: While watching a tribute to Michael Jackson...
Dad's Wife: Who is Jamal?
Me, Hubs, & Sis: Huh?
Dad's Wife: He is always referring to somebody named Jamal in his songs and I wonder who this Jamal guy is.
Me: Do you mean when he says, "Shamon'?"
Sis: Yeah, you me "Shamon." It's like he is saying, "come on."
Conversation 2: While watching a tribute to Michael Jackson (The Way You Make Me Feel video)...
Dad: Oh, isn't that Tavoy right there on the end?
Me, Hubs, & Sis: Tavoy?
Dad: Yeah! Look!
Me: You mean Latoya???
Dad: Oh yeah whatever...
Conversation 3: Talking about the Blogalicious 2009 Conference
Sis: India Arie even made a quick appearance at The Blogrollers' party.
Dad: Who's India Arie?
Everyone except Dad: OMG!!!!
Conversation 4: In car listening to India Arie...
Dad: I don't know if I like her?
Me: What do you mean? Why not?
Dad: Well, when we were watching her on TV it sounded like she was doing those...you know...drug chants.
Me: Drug chants? What the heck is a drug chant?
Dad: You know...like that rap stuff.
Me: OMG!!! Drug chants? Where did you even get that from? And India Arie is not a rap artist.
Dad: Was she the one with the short hair or the one with the big hair (referring to Jill Scott)?
Me: She was the one with the short hair, but Jill Scott was the other one and she's not a rap artist either.
Dad: Well she sounded like she was doing drug chants.
Me: Sigh. Shaking my head.
Hubs: So why are you calling it drug chanting?
Dad: Because all those rap guys do drugs.
Everyone except Dad: Big SIGH...laughter
I mean did he really say, "bareback on a mule?" What century was this man born in?
What is the funniest thing your parent has said to you in his/her old age?
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
10 Things I took for granted before becoming pregnant:
1. Breathing: I have not been able to breath for 3 weeks. They say it could last for the rest of my pregnancy. WTH?! You mean I might not be able to breath for the next 5 months?!
2. Running: I think if I ran right now, I would definitely need a medic. Sometimes I forget and catch myself "running" up the stairs. By the time I reach the top, I am panting like a dog in heat.
3. Cleaning: So I had stop cleaning for a while because I just didn't feel like it. I recently got the bright idea to clean the whole house. Why do I feel like I've run a half marathon?
4. My Memory: Not that my memory was the greatest before pregnancy, but now I can't even remember what I was just about to type.
5. Patience: Again, not that my patience was the best before either, but slow and/or bad drivers are getting the horn a little bit quicker these days.
6. My Body: I have gained 14 pounds and it's kind of weird weighing more than I ever have in my life. I know it's normal, but still weird. I wonder what my body will look like post-pardum. Actually, I'm a little scared that my body as I once knew it will be gone forever. It also doesn't help when people say things like, "Dang girl! You gettin' big! Um, gee thanks...
7. Sleeping: I am used to sleeping on my back or my stomach. Yeah, great. Can't do either of those now.
8. Privacy/Personal Space: I normally keep to myself, especially at work. Now everyone is always in my business. Everyone has an opinion about what I eat and what I do. Everyone wants to touch my stomach. I am quite the showpiece right now. I'm not sure how I feel about all the attention. It's okay sometimes, but at times it can be a little annoying.
9. Grooming: Shaving and doing my hair is like asking me to perform surgery at this point, and I am no doctor. My hair takes 3 hours to do, and I just don't have the energy. I am close to giving up on shaving my legs. Can't see...can't reach...who cares...
10. Portion Control: I used to pride myself and attribute my girlish figure to exercising portion control when I ate. I have always loved food, but made it a point to never overeat. Well, that's all out the window. If I had a dollar for every time I used the old "baby has to eat" excuse every time I'm going up for my fourth or fifth helping of food, I'd be rich.
Just sharing. I'm not complaining. I'm just saying...
Sunday, November 15, 2009
I'd like to share the concert I had with myself in the car the other day. As you know, my job is a hot mess! For some reason these songs just really spoke to me. Let go and let God. He is in control. Enjoy!
Friday, November 13, 2009
So I'm in the doctor's office for my monthly preggers check-up and I am sitting in the room with the door closed waiting for the
doctor nursing student. I overhear someone talking on the phone outside of my room. Now mind you, I can only hear one side of the conversation. Lord only knows what was being said on the other end of the phone. So here's what I heard:
Oh, you get that if you go down on someone. You know like oral sex. Uh huh. Well, what were you doing? You can get it that way too. Well, what were you doing? Was it that boy you were with last week. Um hmm, uh huh.
Then she hung up the phone and I assume she began talking to someone else in the office. Remember I can't see anything. I can only hear her side of the conversation. She then says:
I know and whose fault do you think it is? Her mama! Can you believe she had those 13 year old girls up in a hotel room. I would nevah let my child be up in some hotel room with a group of kids by herself. Who knows what they were doing? They probably just had one big f*$@ fest and passed around all types of STDs.
At this point a small child's voice interjects:
What's an STD?
The loud talking woman responds:
It's a sexually transmitted disease and how old did I say you have to be before you can have sex?!
So you know at this point I'm thinking, WTH?!!! Are you kidding me? Am I being punk'd? What makes this story even more ridiculous is that I swear it was a nursing assistant who was having this loud obnoxious conversation. I really think I was the last patient, and the only other people there were the 5 or 6 people who were still working. I did hear a faint "shh" while she was yelling, but somebody really needed to tell her to shut up. How unprofessional for her to have that conversation in the office. She was soooooo loud! (in my best Dorothy voice) Oral sex, STDs, and f*$# fests, oh my!
On a different note...the nursing assistant who checked for the baby's heartbeat was having a heck of a time trying to find it. I tried to be patient, but it was hard. You see, I know my baby and the heartbeat is in the exact same place every time. I had to resist the urge to snatch the doppler out of her hand and say, "here, honey, it's right here." I have to remember that I am used to working with little people all day who I have to tell what to do and how to do it all day long, and I can't treat big people like little people. So I just waited and let the student have her glory when she finally found the heartbeat after like 5 minutes. If I didn't know my baby, I would have panicked, but I just waited. *Sigh* I'm growing.
I'm 19 weeks and hopefully I will find out the sex of the baby today. Keep your fingers crossed!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
My husband often calls me from work to ask me grammar and spelling questions because he has reports that he has to review. How do you embarrass your husband right after he has gotten a promotion on the job? Here's how:
Recent phone conversation between Hubs and me...
Hubs: Hey honey. How do you spell plaits like when you are talking about somebody's hair?
Me: Plaits? Why do you need to know how to spell that? White people don't use that word.
Unknown Man's Voice: Yeah. That's why we are asking.
Me: Huh? Oh, am I on speaker?!
Hubs: Yes! Honey, you are on speaker.
Me: Oh, well I was just saying I have really never heard White people use that word so maybe you should use a more universal word like braids.
Hubs: (Chuckling) Okay, thanks.
Background info: My husband explained later that a lady was giving a description of a suspect and described him as having "chunks" in his hair. So of course my husband had to try to come up with a more "hair related" word to describe the "chunks" that she was talking about. He came up with plaits. I told him that "chunks" sounds like the guy may have had little afro puffs. Who knows? I just know that I would not use the word plaits in this case, especially when people who are unfamiliar with the word might be reading the report.
So now I'm thinking, oh crap! Now everyone at his job is going to think he's married to a racist. I was really trying to help even though my attempt may have sounded a little ignorant. I asked my husband if I had embarrassed him and he said no. Only one guy heard me, and he was not offended because he had never heard the term plait used to describe braids. So inquiring minds want to know. Do you think that the word plaits is cultural or universal? Help a sista out White people? Black people? Anyone? Do you use the word plaits? Or was I completely out of line with my assumption.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Since I've been quite the SLACKER in keeping you all abreast of what's going on with my pregnancy, I thought I'd answer some of the most frequently asked questions. Feel free to ask more questions in the comment section, and I'll be sure to answer them next week.
Q: Have you been sick?
A: I've actually been extremely blessed and I have not been sick at all. Just sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have gas strong enough to destroy a small village. **Warning: Standing downwind from me is dangerous!**
Q: Do you have any cravings?
A: Yes. FOOD! I loved food before I got pregnant, and that love has only been enhanced since I've been pregnant. There's not a moment of the day when I am not thinking about food. Everything is fair game when it comes to food. I've been eating more chocolate than ever before and I've never been a real chocolate lover. I am scary around a bag of Hershey's Miniatures.
Q: Do you ever want a "drink?"
A: I rarely crave alcohol. However, I occasionally would not mind a bottle of Two Buck Chuck after hard week of work. Oh well, I'll have to wait a few more months for that.
Q: How far along are you?
A: I will be 18 weeks tomorrow.
Q: Are you having a boy or a girl?
A: I will hopefully find out next week. Stayed tuned!
Q: Have you thought about names?
A: Yes. We picked out names a long time ago. We have chosen a unisex name so the name will be the same if it is a girl or a boy. I've decided not to disclose the name of the baby, so I will refer to him/her as AV on my blog.
Q: Do you have a preference of sex?
A: I really just want a healthy baby, but I am secretly praying for a boy. I really will feel sorry for a girl because her hair will look a hot mess!
Q: Have you started a nursery?
A: No. We do have a room in the house, but we haven't thought about what to do with it. I was thinking about chocolate and blue or pink for colors depending on the sex.
Q: Have you been getting a lot of advice?
A: I have gotten tons of advice and most of it has been pretty positive. Some of the funniest advice I've gotten from people is about sex. I've heard candidly from several people that I should have sex every day so that the baby will come out easier. "Gurl, me and my huzbin had sex all throughout my pregnancy and my baby came out in two pushes." What makes this even more uncomfortable is that most of these conversations are taking place at work!
Q: Does anything annoy you?
A: Yes. Lots of things annoy me. This is yet something else that has been enhanced. Before I got pregnant, I had a bit of an attitude. Now my attitude is a bit more colorful. My lack of patience really shows. I try not to go off every day, but it is hard. People in general have just been getting on my nerves lately. I especially can't stand when people make smart comments about what I am eating. "Is that coffee you are drinking?" or "Is that a TV dinner? You should really only be eating fresh fruits and vegetables." MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS! This my body and if I want to drink a Coke every now and then, I will, and I don't want to hear advice from the peanut gallery. Unfortunately, my poor husband often gets the brunt of it. When he asks why I am yelling at him, I try to explain, "I'm yelling at the situation honey, not you. You see, when you leave boots at the bottom of the stairs, I just think about how I could have potentially broken my neck thus harming the baby, had I not been paying attention. That's all."
Until next week. Thank you for all of the well wishes!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
To say that I dislike my job is an understatement. I am working in one of the worst possible places for a pregnant woman to be working right now, but somehow I have to find a way to find peace in this painful place. Every morning I pray the whole way to work, asking God to help me have a positive attitude and not to go off on anyone. However, each day it seems like the devil over takes my state of mind and I end up angry and stressed out. I know this is so unhealthy for me right now which is why I'm really trying to change. I think a lot of my negativity stems from frustration with my current situation. I would love to have the luxury to just say, "I quit. I don't need this stress, so I'm not going to work." Unfortunately, I don't have that luxury right now. I know I am not alone out here. I know there are other people out there who absolutely loathe their jobs. My question is: How do you remain positive in a sea of negativity? Thanks to a great friend that got my lazy butt up out of bed this morning, I tried out a new church today, and the message really moved me. One scripture in particular really spoke to me.
Work hard and cheerfully at all you do, just as though you were working for the Lord...remembering that it is the Lord Christ who is going to pay you, giving you your full portion of all He owns. He is the one you are really working for. And if you don't do your best for Him, He will pay you in a way you won't like--for He has no special favorites who can get away with shirking. Colossians 3:23-25 (TLB)
AMEN! If I have to read this 100 times a day, I will make it a point to remember who I am really working for.