Friday, November 13, 2009

Funny Friday: Am I being Punk'd?

So I'm in the doctor's office for my monthly preggers check-up and I am sitting in the room with the door closed waiting for the doctor nursing student. I overhear someone talking on the phone outside of my room. Now mind you, I can only hear one side of the conversation. Lord only knows what was being said on the other end of the phone. So here's what I heard:

Oh, you get that if you go down on someone. You know like oral sex. Uh huh. Well, what were you doing? You can get it that way too. Well, what were you doing? Was it that boy you were with last week. Um hmm, uh huh.

Then she hung up the phone and I assume she began talking to someone else in the office. Remember I can't see anything. I can only hear her side of the conversation. She then says:

I know and whose fault do you think it is? Her mama! Can you believe she had those 13 year old girls up in a hotel room. I would nevah let my child be up in some hotel room with a group of kids by herself. Who knows what they were doing? They probably just had one big f*$@ fest and passed around all types of STDs.

At this point a small child's voice interjects:
What's an STD?

The loud talking woman responds:
It's a sexually transmitted disease and how old did I say you have to be before you can have sex?!

So you know at this point I'm thinking, WTH?!!! Are you kidding me? Am I being punk'd? What makes this story even more ridiculous is that I swear it was a nursing assistant who was having this loud obnoxious conversation. I really think I was the last patient, and the only other people there were the 5 or 6 people who were still working. I did hear a faint "shh" while she was yelling, but somebody really needed to tell her to shut up. How unprofessional for her to have that conversation in the office. She was soooooo loud! (in my best Dorothy voice) Oral sex, STDs, and f*$# fests, oh my!

On a different note...the nursing assistant who checked for the baby's heartbeat was having a heck of a time trying to find it. I tried to be patient, but it was hard. You see, I know my baby and the heartbeat is in the exact same place every time. I had to resist the urge to snatch the doppler out of her hand and say, "here, honey, it's right here." I have to remember that I am used to working with little people all day who I have to tell what to do and how to do it all day long, and I can't treat big people like little people. So I just waited and let the student have her glory when she finally found the heartbeat after like 5 minutes. If I didn't know my baby, I would have panicked, but I just waited. *Sigh* I'm growing.

I'm 19 weeks and hopefully I will find out the sex of the baby today. Keep your fingers crossed!



Alicia November 13, 2009 at 3:25 AM  

Oh my gosh! That is totally unprofessional. Are you sure it wasn't another adult in the room?

Well, besides that, it sounds the baby is progressing wonderfully!!!

Can't wait to find out what you're having!

Tara November 13, 2009 at 8:00 AM  

Good to hear you and baby are well, I hope your next visit is NOT like this one!

Wifey November 13, 2009 at 9:34 AM  

That is just funny ... and wrong! LOL! Can't wait to find out what you're having.

Winks & Smiles,

ScrappinMichele November 13, 2009 at 10:07 AM  

OMG! That's funny and not funny at the same time. Glad the baby is doing well!

Tooj November 13, 2009 at 10:27 AM  

Well, now that little voice is going to be all over trying to find out what that lady was talking about. Ugh. Don't get me started.

Until they start moving around and assure me that those babies are alive and kicking inside me, waiting to hear/find the heartbeat is always so anxiety-filled for me. I have to wait until this Friday, and then I get to have a sonogram to check that all is well. Until then, I'll just continue to take the signs of nausea that all is well. GAG.

Christie-The ChatterBox November 13, 2009 at 12:17 PM  

Again, why doesn't this stuff EVER happen to me? My life is soooooo booooorrrriiiinnnggg!

Keep It Classy, Jen November 13, 2009 at 1:05 PM  

OMG that's too funny! I can't wait to know what lil Joan of All Trades is!

NikkiD13 November 14, 2009 at 12:16 PM  

That is hysterical! I have some funny doctors office stories too but can't top this one! Any word on the sex of the baby? Of course I am bias hoping I get that middle name! ;)

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