Funny Friday: Lessons Learned

So I'm a little late on my Funny Friday, but I have 2 funny stories to share.

Lessons learned this week...

1. When playing the name game, one should carefully choose the names.

Niece: Let's do Chuck!

Mom: Chuck Chuck bo Buck banana fanana fo....(voice trails off)

Niece: F@#$ Grammy!

My mother and I just had to look at each other and chuckle inside. My mom just moved on to the next name not making a big deal about the profanity that my 5 year old niece had no idea she just uttered.

2. Know where you shop...
A couple of weeks ago, I bought some reindeer antlers from Dollar General. One of them was broken so this week I decided to return it. So I walk into the dollar store back to the isle where I got the antlers from. Hmm that's strange the Christmas stuff isn't over her anymore. I ask the clerk where the antlers are and he directs me to the other side of the store. Hmph, guess they redecorated. I find the antlers, but they are not the same ones I bought before. These were much nicer and were 2 for a dollar. Oh well. I pick up a pair and proceed to check out.

Me: I'd like to exchange these because they are broken.

Clerk: These are not our product.

Me: Yes they are. I bought them from here.

Other Clerk: They're ours, we just don't sell them anymore.

Clerk: Okay, but they are not ours. (Scans item and it gets rejected) See.

Me: Yes they are. Look, I have the receipt right here! (getting a little belligerent and shoving the receipt in her face)

Clerk: Yes honey. That receipt says Dollar General. This is the Dollar Tree!

Me: This is not Dollar General?

Clerk: No ma'm. This is the D-o-l-l-a-r T-r-e-e.

Me: Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry. I really thought this was Dollar General. Sorry.

Clerk: That's okay. Have a nice day!

Dear Dollar Tree Lady,
I sincerely apologize for taking you on that unnecessary roller coaster ride. You see I am almost 6 months pregnant and my brain as I knew it is officially gone. You could have easily had a bad attitude, but you were so patient with me, and for that, I thank you. I am sorry I shoved that receipt in your face as if you were the idiot and not me. But I promise you, I really really thought I was in the Dollar General. Yes, I now know that the sign outside the store clear says Dollar Tree. However, I distinctly remember myself going into your store and getting the antlers so vividly that I couldn't even imagine getting them from somewhere else. I couldn't even tell you where the Dollar General is. Scary. I know, but this is my reality right now. Please pray for me.
Remorsefully,
A Deranged Pregnant Woman

~Joan