Wordless Wednesday: Seriously?

Maybe it's just me, but I always thought that "ashy" was synonymous with dry skin. Did they really need to put that on the bottle of lotion and did it need to be 3 times bigger than "dry?"

~Joan

Read more...

Funny Friday: Lessons Learned

So I'm a little late on my Funny Friday, but I have 2 funny stories to share.

Lessons learned this week...

1. When playing the name game, one should carefully choose the names.

Niece: Let's do Chuck!

Mom: Chuck Chuck bo Buck banana fanana fo....(voice trails off)

Niece: F@#$ Grammy!

My mother and I just had to look at each other and chuckle inside. My mom just moved on to the next name not making a big deal about the profanity that my 5 year old niece had no idea she just uttered.

2. Know where you shop...
A couple of weeks ago, I bought some reindeer antlers from Dollar General. One of them was broken so this week I decided to return it. So I walk into the dollar store back to the isle where I got the antlers from. Hmm that's strange the Christmas stuff isn't over her anymore. I ask the clerk where the antlers are and he directs me to the other side of the store. Hmph, guess they redecorated. I find the antlers, but they are not the same ones I bought before. These were much nicer and were 2 for a dollar. Oh well. I pick up a pair and proceed to check out.

Me: I'd like to exchange these because they are broken.

Clerk: These are not our product.

Me: Yes they are. I bought them from here.

Other Clerk: They're ours, we just don't sell them anymore.

Clerk: Okay, but they are not ours. (Scans item and it gets rejected) See.

Me: Yes they are. Look, I have the receipt right here! (getting a little belligerent and shoving the receipt in her face)

Clerk: Yes honey. That receipt says Dollar General. This is the Dollar Tree!

Me: This is not Dollar General?

Clerk: No ma'm. This is the D-o-l-l-a-r T-r-e-e.

Me: Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry. I really thought this was Dollar General. Sorry.

Clerk: That's okay. Have a nice day!

Dear Dollar Tree Lady,
I sincerely apologize for taking you on that unnecessary roller coaster ride. You see I am almost 6 months pregnant and my brain as I knew it is officially gone. You could have easily had a bad attitude, but you were so patient with me, and for that, I thank you. I am sorry I shoved that receipt in your face as if you were the idiot and not me. But I promise you, I really really thought I was in the Dollar General. Yes, I now know that the sign outside the store clear says Dollar Tree. However, I distinctly remember myself going into your store and getting the antlers so vividly that I couldn't even imagine getting them from somewhere else. I couldn't even tell you where the Dollar General is. Scary. I know, but this is my reality right now. Please pray for me.
Remorsefully,
A Deranged Pregnant Woman

~Joan

Read more...

Wordless Wednesday: Past the Halfway Mark

This is me on October 11th.

Here I am in the same shirt this past Saturday at 21 weeks pregnant. What a difference a month can make!


~Joan

Read more...

Freckle Face

While viewing a commercial for ProActive:

My Niece: Ooo Grammy, that's what you need!


My Mom: Really? Why do you think I need ProActive?

My Niece: (pointing at my mom's freckles) Because of all of this on your face.


My Mom: Oh no honey, those are just freckles. Your mommy has them too and so does Auntie.
I just have a lot more. Does it look that bad?



My Niece: YES! You should get rid of it!


Ouch! At least she's honest...

Don't forget to enter the Path to Peace contest here.

~Joan

Read more...

10 Things I'm Thankful for This Year

1. God's grace and mercy

2. My Husband

3. My baby boy

4. My family

5. Being employed

6. FOOD

7. SHELTER

8. TRANSPORTATION

9. getting a break from work

10. Barack Obama

What are you thankful for this year? Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

~Joan

Read more...

Happy Thanksgiving: Path to Peace Giveaway

As a kid growing up I always loved the holidays: spending time with extended family, playing games, and of course, EATING GREAT FOOD. As a young adult, holiday were not as much fun because my parents got divorced. I felt torn between the two families, so I would spend all of the holidays driving all over creation to please everyone except for myself. Now that I am older and wiser, I do the holidays my way. I go wherever I feel comfortable going, and I've learned how to say no. Surprisingly, no one's feelings are hurt.

This year, we are hosting Thanksgiving at my house. I think it's becoming a tradition. My husband's family came over last year for Thanksgiving and this year my family is coming over. One thing I really love about my family gatherings is the games. You'll find us singing karaoke, throwin' down on some spades or Phase 10, or wildin' out over Taboo or Scene It. If you have a problem with noise, steer clear of my family during the holidays. WE ARE LOUD!

I know you are thinking, okay on with the giveaway. A couple weeks ago I had a giveaway for the Macy's Path to Peace O Bracelet via The Blogrollers. This time I'll be giving away a Macy's Path 2 Peace Basket.
Here is the basket and placemats I received courtesy of the Macy's Path to Peace project.



Here are some links to more information about how the Path to Peace project is bringing together the women of Rwanda and New Orleans for the greater good of their respective communities.

Rwandan Textiles
The Origin of Path to Peace
Rwandan Recipes


Macy's In-Store Events for Path to Peace
Macy's is having a series of FREE in-store events for Path to Peace. There will be product discounts, door prizes, and special guests from Fair Winds Trading and...you guessed it...Rwanda! Below are the dates and cities. Feel free to spread the word about these events on your blog, to your communities, and to your friends/family. Formal announcements will also be on The BlogRollers Blog prior to each one.

*Atlanta: Macy’s Lenox Square Thu, December 3 - 6:30pm
Washington DC: Macy’s Metro Center Fri, December 4 - 5:30pm
Brooklyn: Macy’s Downtown Brooklyn Sat, December 5 - 3:00pm
Miami: Macy’s Dadeland Home Store Sun, December 6 - 3:00pm
*New Orleans: Macy’s Lakeside Tues, December 8 - 6:00pm
Louisville: Macy’s Oxmoor Center Sat, December 12 - 3:00pm
*The BlogRollers will be live streaming from these events!

You can do any or all of the following to win a basket. The more you do, the more entries you get.
1. Follow my blog
2. Follow me on twitter @joanofalltrades
3. Follow The Blogrollers blog
4. Follow The Blogrollers on twitter @theblogrollers
5. Tweet the contest (link to this post)
6. Post about the contest (link to this post)
*** Best of all, you do not need to write me individual comments for each one. Just leave me 1 comment saying, "I've done x, y, and, z and I would love to win a basket."***
The winner will be chosen by random.org. The contest ends on December 13th at 10pm EST. Good Luck!

Happy Thanksgiving! What are your holiday traditions?

~Joan

Read more...

Funny Friday: Weekend with the Peeps

Last weekend my dad and his wife came down for a visit. Here are a couple of the conversations that had me saying, WTH. Some of the best laughter I've had this year...

Conversation 1: While watching a tribute to Michael Jackson...
Dad's Wife: Who is Jamal?
Me, Hubs, & Sis: Huh?
Dad's Wife: He is always referring to somebody named Jamal in his songs and I wonder who this Jamal guy is.
Me: Do you mean when he says, "Shamon'?"
Sis: Yeah, you me "Shamon." It's like he is saying, "come on."
Everyone: laughter


Conversation 2: While watching a tribute to Michael Jackson (The Way You Make Me Feel video)...
Dad: Oh, isn't that Tavoy right there on the end?
Me, Hubs, & Sis: Tavoy?
Dad: Yeah! Look!
Me: You mean Latoya???
Dad: Oh yeah whatever...
Everyone: laughter


Conversation 3: Talking about the Blogalicious 2009 Conference
Sis: India Arie even made a quick appearance at The Blogrollers' party.
Dad: Who's India Arie?
Everyone except Dad: OMG!!!!

Conversation 4: In car listening to India Arie...
Dad: I don't know if I like her?

Me: What do you mean? Why not?

Dad: Well, when we were watching her on TV it sounded like she was doing those...you know...drug chants.

Me: Drug chants? What the heck is a drug chant?

Dad: You know...like that rap stuff.

Me: OMG!!! Drug chants? Where did you even get that from? And India Arie is not a rap artist.

Dad: Was she the one with the short hair or the one with the big hair (referring to Jill Scott)?

Me: She was the one with the short hair, but Jill Scott was the other one and she's not a rap artist either.

Dad: Well she sounded like she was doing drug chants.

Me: Sigh. Shaking my head.
Hubs: So why are you calling it drug chanting?

Dad: Because all those rap guys do drugs.
Everyone except Dad: Big SIGH...laughter

Conversation #5: Talking about shooting guns

Hubs: We have plenty of deer out here.

Sis: They even have turkeys walking around.

Dad: Yeah. I remember riding bareback on a mule and shooting birds out of trees when I was a kid.

Me: WOW!

Everyone: laughter

*********************************************

I mean did he really say, "bareback on a mule?" What century was this man born in?

What is the funniest thing your parent has said to you in his/her old age?


~Joan

Read more...