Joan of All Trades.....

Happy Birthday!

2010-05-04T15:00:00.000-04:00

I know it has been months since I have posted, but I have been a little preoccupied. Today my baby boy is 1 month old! Happy Birthday little man! He was born on April 6th, weighed 7 pounds and 9 ounces, and was 19 inches long. I know I am not supposed to say this, but he is absolutely perfect. Who knew you could have this much love for one person? I guess you would have to love him more than anything to deprive yourself of sleep day in and day out. I know what you are saying, "sleep when the baby sleeps." Yeah, in theory that is a good idea. Unfortunately, I have other things to do like dishes, laundry, eat, shower, and use the bathroom. I sleep as much as I can, but it is hard. Still, it's all worth it. My hat goes off to all of the mothers out there. This is truly a special job and privilege. I guess I am now officially a "mom blogger."

~Joan

Not So Wordless Wednesday: 7 1/2 Months!

2010-02-03T00:00:00.000-05:00

Well, I have 9 weeks left and I am ready to get it over with. Let me clarify. I am ready to meet my little boy, but I am still terrified of childbirth. As life begins to move in slow motion, I am thinking, oh crap, I've got so much to do. I don't know what to do first. I'd like to stop working now so I can focus on the task ahead of me. I will continue working for at least 3 more weeks and then see how I feel. As I get bigger by the minute, I try not to take it to heart when EVERYONE feels the need to comment on how big I'm getting. I especially love the comments about how big my butt is and being asked if I'm having twins. Happy Wednesday!
~Joan

Sugar Coma: Somebody Revive Me!

2010-01-23T13:56:00.015-05:00

This post is long overdue. Last Saturday I participated in The Broke Socialite Does....Sugar Coma in Atlanta. Myself and a host of other bloggers and sugar enthusiasts had the opportunity to tour some of Atlanta's premiere desert restaurants and facilities. The name of the event says it all. Y'all know I love food, and I ate myself silly from about 9am to 3pm. Oh, did I mention that Cadillac was a sponsor and we got to ride in style all day in the new 2010 SRX. My sister Christie aka the Chatterbox aka 1/2 of the Blogrollers was the driver of our car.

We started the morning off at No Mas C antina, an authentic Mexican restaurant that just launched it's breakfast menu. The blue corn cakes and their signature coffee, Cafe de Olla were both to die for.

This is the No Mas Cantina store. I felt like a bull in a china shop with my big belly and all of the fragile items that were around. LOL!

Breakfast is served!

Stop 2 was Cacao Atlanta. I learned more about chocolate than I never new before. Did you know the beans are fermented and go through a similar process as wine making? I sure didn't. They gave us a shot of their hot chocolate, and if I didn't wanna slap somebody's mama after that shot....phew! It was goooood! Cacao Atlanta is literally code for Chocolate Heaven.

The are the actual beans that they use to make the chocolate.

Stop 3 was Joli Kobe, a Japanese bakery and cafe. This restaurant by far had my favorite desert of the day. Unfortunately, I have know idea what it was called, but it's that delectable little rectangular chocolate cream cake pictured below on the bottom left of the greedy plate I made for myself at the restaurant.

Stop 4 was to The Cooke Studio, a bakery that does cookies with a cause. Part of their proceeds go to charity.

Stop 5 was Sweet N' Sinful. And boy did I feel like a little devil in there. The owner had the nerve to give me a box and tell me to fill it up with treats! OMG! Somebody stop me! The french toast cupcakes were yummmoooo!

TBS is chatting it up with the owner of the sinfully sweet shop.

Last Stop--Le Fais Do Do, where we had a simply divine lunch catered by Black Tie Barbecue. Can I just say that I had no idea what Bok Choi was, but now it's my favorite vegetable. All of their food is seasoned to perfection. A little birdie told me that they might be catering my baby shower, so I am super duper excited about that.

Oh, and did I mention that we got awesome swag bags filled with pamper products and sweet treats. Also, there was an after party that night sponsored by Yelp. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend because I kind of over did it earlier in the day. You would not believed how swollen and disgusting my feet were by the end of the day.

When I say The Broke Socialite outdid herself this time, I mean it. She is doin the darn thang and takin names. Congrats TBS! I'm so proud of you girl!

~Joan

Wordless Wednesday: Here's How You Know It's 2010

2010-01-20T21:45:00.004-05:00

My 5 year old niece is showing my 87 year old grandmother how to play solitaire on the iPhone.
Priceless!

~Joan

Happy New Year!

2010-01-15T21:43:00.003-05:00

Okay, so I know I'm like 3 weeks late, but better late than never!

Here is my 6 months picture (notice I am sporting the Macy's Path to Peace O bracelet that my sister gave me for Christmas). I just turned 7 months this week. Unfortunately, I've already gained all of the weight I'm supposed to gain for the whole pregnancy, and I still have 3 months to go. I guess I'm eating too much. I just love food though. Somebody stop me! The nurse literally had to weigh me twice because she thought the scale was wrong or that she had read it incorrectly. Sorry. The scale does not lie (isn't that what the host of Celebrity Fit club always says). Anyway, my second trimester rocked! Now that I'm entering the third trimester, life is getting increasingly difficult. Putting on socks, shoes and underwear, shaving, cleaning, and walking up steps, all seem like Olympic sports these days. And a good comfortable night's rest is a thing of the past. I can't complain too much because I have had a really uneventfully pleasant pregnancy, so thank God for that. I hope you all have had a great start to your new year.

**Prayers for Haiti: Click the button in my left sidebar to donate to disaster relief for the people in Haiti. May God bless our brothers and sister in Haiti!

~Joan

Merry Christmas

2009-12-24T00:00:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! This is a random post, but who cares. It's Christmas!

Just finished the little bit of Christmas shopping I had and managed to get all gifts $10 and under (patting myself on the back).

Bought some much needed maternity clothes. My bras and underwear were cutting off my circulation and something needed to be done (was that TMI?)!

I managed to almost give my husband a heart attack. How, you ask? I placed my laptop on the edge of my dresser (dumb, I know). Then instead of detaching the cord from the computer first, I picked it up by the other end. Suddenly the laptop began to spin off of the dresser. I rushed to catch it and...."HONEY, NO!!!!!!!!" screamed my husband. He scared me about half to to death because I'm not sure I've ever heard him scream that loud. The first scream was followed by a, "DAMN THE COMPUTER. LET IT FALL!" Well, I did end up dropping it anyway. I apologized and told my husband I was fine. It was just a reflex. You must understand his concern though. You see I don't have one of those cute 1/2 pound Macbooks. I have a 2003 Dell Inspiron 6000 which weighs almost as much as a desktop. Not to mention, I'm six months pregnant.

My favorite Christmas song is O Holy Night. Running a close second is Mary J. Blige and Andrea Bocelli's rendition of What Child is This.

I hope you all have a very blessed holiday full of joy and new memories!

~Joan

Wordless Wednesday: Pajama Day

2009-12-23T00:00:00.000-05:00

6 months!

~Joan

I Feel Naked

2009-12-22T00:12:00.002-05:00

My fingers are officially too fat for my wedding rings, and I feel completely naked. I put my rings on a chain, but it still doesn't feel right. I keep feeling my finger, and something is missing. Anybody else feel this way when you stop wearing something that you've been wearing for years?
I don't like the feeling :(

~Joan

Wordless Wednesday: I Think I Put Too Much

2009-12-16T00:00:00.000-05:00

~Joan

And the Winner is...

2009-12-14T00:00:00.000-05:00

From the desk of me... from How Full is Your Bucket?

Congrats on winning a wonderful Path to Peace Basket from Macy's.

~Joan

A Letter: There's Got to Be a Better Way

2009-12-12T09:15:00.004-05:00

Dear Veteran Politicians, Athletes, Entertainers and other people of status who have managed to make it through this life without a whole lot of drama:

Is there any way you can develop some sort of a mentor program for these troubled fallen stars? For some reason this is weighing heavy on my heart today. I neither condone or condemn the actions of some of these troubled famous people. Let she who is without sin cast the first stone. However, it does seem like the success is a little too much for them to handle.

I'm not talking about folks who are destined to be a hot mess regardless. I'm talking about people who are very talented and have it in their spirits to be good people. But temptation is a mutha, isn't it?

I mean when you take a person who has never had a dime, and all of a sudden give him $100 million, do you expect that he will automatically know how to manage that much money and do the right things with it? Or a man who has never gotten any play his entire life all of a sudden has a billion dollars, he might just go buckwild with the ladies because now he's some how become soooo "hot." NOT! Take me for instance, I am very greedy. If all of a sudden I were able to have whatever food I wanted whenever I wanted it, I might be in big trouble--even develop an eating disorder.

Because of the spotlight and the microscope that they are under, it is impossible for these stars to have everyday people problems without being judged by their every move. Each decision they make could possible make or break their careers, and that's a lot of pressure. You have to admit that a lot of their pitfalls are directly attributed to the fame and fortune. If they didn't have the fame and fortune, the probably would do half of the things that ultimately end up ruining their lives and the lives of the people they care about. Quite frankly, their personal life is none of our business, and we should not have to depend on them to be our only role models. If a person professes to be a role model, then fine, we can hold her to that standard. But isn't unfair for us to put the pressure of being a role model on a person who is simply just trying to make a better life for their family and not necessarily trying to be America's hero?

I'm just saying, can we get these people some help before it's too late, and the media crucifies them? Some how they have to know that the very people who will build them up and portray them as golden boy and big stars will turn on them at the drop of a hat as soon as their indiscretions are exposed. It really breaks my heart to see talented influential people continue to go town the tubes over some bull. I'm not making excuses for them, I'm just saying...there's go to be a better way. I have a beautiful son growing inside of me that I know is destined for greatness. While I hope that my husband and I will be his main role models. I don't want him to have to constantly see these successful people that look like him continue to fall by the wayside, thus leaving him with a sense of hopelessness that deems him doomed to fail in the eyes of society. So to all my vets, I implore you to help these people battle the demons that are destroying them. Be their role models and don't let them drown in the media feeding frenzy cesspool.

(the second half of this video applies more to the letter than the first half does.)

~Joan

Wordless Wednesday: Seriously?

2009-12-09T00:00:00.000-05:00

Maybe it's just me, but I always thought that "ashy" was synonymous with dry skin. Did they really need to put that on the bottle of lotion and did it need to be 3 times bigger than "dry?"

~Joan

Funny Friday: Lessons Learned

2009-12-04T22:56:00.000-05:00

So I'm a little late on my Funny Friday, but I have 2 funny stories to share.

Lessons learned this week...

1. When playing the name game, one should carefully choose the names.

Niece: Let's do Chuck!

Mom: Chuck Chuck bo Buck banana fanana fo....(voice trails off)

Niece: F@#$ Grammy!

My mother and I just had to look at each other and chuckle inside. My mom just moved on to the next name not making a big deal about the profanity that my 5 year old niece had no idea she just uttered.

2. Know where you shop...
A couple of weeks ago, I bought some reindeer antlers from Dollar General. One of them was broken so this week I decided to return it. So I walk into the dollar store back to the isle where I got the antlers from. Hmm that's strange the Christmas stuff isn't over her anymore. I ask the clerk where the antlers are and he directs me to the other side of the store. Hmph, guess they redecorated. I find the antlers, but they are not the same ones I bought before. These were much nicer and were 2 for a dollar. Oh well. I pick up a pair and proceed to check out.

Me: I'd like to exchange these because they are broken.

Clerk: These are not our product.

Me: Yes they are. I bought them from here.

Other Clerk: They're ours, we just don't sell them anymore.

Clerk: Okay, but they are not ours. (Scans item and it gets rejected) See.

Me: Yes they are. Look, I have the receipt right here! (getting a little belligerent and shoving the receipt in her face)

Clerk: Yes honey. That receipt says Dollar General. This is the Dollar Tree!

Me: This is not Dollar General?

Clerk: No ma'm. This is the D-o-l-l-a-r T-r-e-e.

Me: Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry. I really thought this was Dollar General. Sorry.

Clerk: That's okay. Have a nice day!

Dear Dollar Tree Lady,
I sincerely apologize for taking you on that unnecessary roller coaster ride. You see I am almost 6 months pregnant and my brain as I knew it is officially gone. You could have easily had a bad attitude, but you were so patient with me, and for that, I thank you. I am sorry I shoved that receipt in your face as if you were the idiot and not me. But I promise you, I really really thought I was in the Dollar General. Yes, I now know that the sign outside the store clear says Dollar Tree. However, I distinctly remember myself going into your store and getting the antlers so vividly that I couldn't even imagine getting them from somewhere else. I couldn't even tell you where the Dollar General is. Scary. I know, but this is my reality right now. Please pray for me.
Remorsefully,
A Deranged Pregnant Woman

~Joan

Wordless Wednesday: Past the Halfway Mark

2009-12-02T00:00:00.001-05:00

This is me on October 11th.

Here I am in the same shirt this past Saturday at 21 weeks pregnant. What a difference a month can make!

~Joan

Freckle Face

2009-11-30T00:00:00.001-05:00

While viewing a commercial for ProActive:

My Niece: Ooo Grammy, that's what you need!

My Mom: Really? Why do you think I need ProActive?

My Niece: (pointing at my mom's freckles) Because of all of this on your face.

My Mom: Oh no honey, those are just freckles. Your mommy has them too and so does Auntie.
I just have a lot more. Does it look that bad?

My Niece: YES! You should get rid of it!

Ouch! At least she's honest...

Don't forget to enter the Path to Peace contest here.

~Joan

10 Things I'm Thankful for This Year

2009-11-26T00:00:00.001-05:00

1. God's grace and mercy

2. My Husband

3. My baby boy

4. My family

5. Being employed

6. FOOD

7. SHELTER

8. TRANSPORTATION

9. getting a break from work

10. Barack Obama

What are you thankful for this year? Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

~Joan

Happy Thanksgiving: Path to Peace Giveaway

2009-11-24T20:32:00.004-05:00

As a kid growing up I always loved the holidays: spending time with extended family, playing games, and of course, EATING GREAT FOOD. As a young adult, holiday were not as much fun because my parents got divorced. I felt torn between the two families, so I would spend all of the holidays driving all over creation to please everyone except for myself. Now that I am older and wiser, I do the holidays my way. I go wherever I feel comfortable going, and I've learned how to say no. Surprisingly, no one's feelings are hurt.

This year, we are hosting Thanksgiving at my house. I think it's becoming a tradition. My husband's family came over last year for Thanksgiving and this year my family is coming over. One thing I really love about my family gatherings is the games. You'll find us singing karaoke, throwin' down on some spades or Phase 10, or wildin' out over Taboo or Scene It. If you have a problem with noise, steer clear of my family during the holidays. WE ARE LOUD!

I know you are thinking, okay on with the giveaway. A couple weeks ago I had a giveaway for the Macy's Path to Peace O Bracelet via The Blogrollers. This time I'll be giving away a Macy's Path 2 Peace Basket.
Here is the basket and placemats I received courtesy of the Macy's Path to Peace project.

Here are some links to more information about how the Path to Peace project is bringing together the women of Rwanda and New Orleans for the greater good of their respective communities.

Rwandan Textiles
The Origin of Path to Peace
Rwandan Recipes

Macy's In-Store Events for Path to Peace
Macy's is having a series of FREE in-store events for Path to Peace. There will be product discounts, door prizes, and special guests from Fair Winds Trading and...you guessed it...Rwanda! Below are the dates and cities. Feel free to spread the word about these events on your blog, to your communities, and to your friends/family. Formal announcements will also be on The BlogRollers Blog prior to each one.

*Atlanta: Macy’s Lenox Square Thu, December 3 - 6:30pm
Washington DC: Macy’s Metro Center Fri, December 4 - 5:30pm
Brooklyn: Macy’s Downtown Brooklyn Sat, December 5 - 3:00pm
Miami: Macy’s Dadeland Home Store Sun, December 6 - 3:00pm
*New Orleans: Macy’s Lakeside Tues, December 8 - 6:00pm
Louisville: Macy’s Oxmoor Center Sat, December 12 - 3:00pm
*The BlogRollers will be live streaming from these events!

You can do any or all of the following to win a basket. The more you do, the more entries you get.
1. Follow my blog
2. Follow me on twitter @joanofalltrades
3. Follow The Blogrollers blog
4. Follow The Blogrollers on twitter @theblogrollers
5. Tweet the contest (link to this post)
6. Post about the contest (link to this post)
*** Best of all, you do not need to write me individual comments for each one. Just leave me 1 comment saying, "I've done x, y, and, z and I would love to win a basket."***
The winner will be chosen by random.org. The contest ends on December 13th at 10pm EST. Good Luck!

Happy Thanksgiving! What are your holiday traditions?

~Joan

Funny Friday: Weekend with the Peeps

2009-11-20T00:00:00.001-05:00

Last weekend my dad and his wife came down for a visit. Here are a couple of the conversations that had me saying, WTH. Some of the best laughter I've had this year...

Conversation 1: While watching a tribute to Michael Jackson...
Dad's Wife: Who is Jamal?
Me, Hubs, & Sis: Huh?
Dad's Wife: He is always referring to somebody named Jamal in his songs and I wonder who this Jamal guy is.
Me: Do you mean when he says, "Shamon'?"
Sis: Yeah, you me "Shamon." It's like he is saying, "come on."
Everyone: laughter

Conversation 2: While watching a tribute to Michael Jackson (The Way You Make Me Feel video)...
Dad: Oh, isn't that Tavoy right there on the end?
Me, Hubs, & Sis: Tavoy?
Dad: Yeah! Look!
Me: You mean Latoya???
Dad: Oh yeah whatever...
Everyone: laughter

Conversation 3: Talking about the Blogalicious 2009 Conference
Sis: India Arie even made a quick appearance at The Blogrollers' party.
Dad: Who's India Arie?
Everyone except Dad: OMG!!!!

Conversation 4: In car listening to India Arie...
Dad: I don't know if I like her?

Me: What do you mean? Why not?

Dad: Well, when we were watching her on TV it sounded like she was doing those...you know...drug chants.

Me: Drug chants? What the heck is a drug chant?

Dad: You know...like that rap stuff.

Me: OMG!!! Drug chants? Where did you even get that from? And India Arie is not a rap artist.

Dad: Was she the one with the short hair or the one with the big hair (referring to Jill Scott)?

Me: She was the one with the short hair, but Jill Scott was the other one and she's not a rap artist either.

Dad: Well she sounded like she was doing drug chants.

Me: Sigh. Shaking my head.
Hubs: So why are you calling it drug chanting?

Dad: Because all those rap guys do drugs.
Everyone except Dad: Big SIGH...laughter

Conversation #5: Talking about shooting guns

Hubs: We have plenty of deer out here.

Sis: They even have turkeys walking around.

Dad: Yeah. I remember riding bareback on a mule and shooting birds out of trees when I was a kid.

Me: WOW!

Everyone: laughter

*********************************************

I mean did he really say, "bareback on a mule?" What century was this man born in?

What is the funniest thing your parent has said to you in his/her old age?

~Joan

Wordless Wednesday: It's a...

2009-11-18T00:00:00.000-05:00

BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Joan

Things I Took For Granted

2009-11-16T00:00:00.001-05:00

10 Things I took for granted before becoming pregnant:

1. Breathing: I have not been able to breath for 3 weeks. They say it could last for the rest of my pregnancy. WTH?! You mean I might not be able to breath for the next 5 months?!

2. Running: I think if I ran right now, I would definitely need a medic. Sometimes I forget and catch myself "running" up the stairs. By the time I reach the top, I am panting like a dog in heat.

3. Cleaning: So I had stop cleaning for a while because I just didn't feel like it. I recently got the bright idea to clean the whole house. Why do I feel like I've run a half marathon?

4. My Memory: Not that my memory was the greatest before pregnancy, but now I can't even remember what I was just about to type.

5. Patience: Again, not that my patience was the best before either, but slow and/or bad drivers are getting the horn a little bit quicker these days.

6. My Body: I have gained 14 pounds and it's kind of weird weighing more than I ever have in my life. I know it's normal, but still weird. I wonder what my body will look like post-pardum. Actually, I'm a little scared that my body as I once knew it will be gone forever. It also doesn't help when people say things like, "Dang girl! You gettin' big! Um, gee thanks...

7. Sleeping: I am used to sleeping on my back or my stomach. Yeah, great. Can't do either of those now.

8. Privacy/Personal Space: I normally keep to myself, especially at work. Now everyone is always in my business. Everyone has an opinion about what I eat and what I do. Everyone wants to touch my stomach. I am quite the showpiece right now. I'm not sure how I feel about all the attention. It's okay sometimes, but at times it can be a little annoying.

9. Grooming: Shaving and doing my hair is like asking me to perform surgery at this point, and I am no doctor. My hair takes 3 hours to do, and I just don't have the energy. I am close to giving up on shaving my legs. Can't see...can't reach...who cares...

10. Portion Control: I used to pride myself and attribute my girlish figure to exercising portion control when I ate. I have always loved food, but made it a point to never overeat. Well, that's all out the window. If I had a dollar for every time I used the old "baby has to eat" excuse every time I'm going up for my fourth or fifth helping of food, I'd be rich.

Just sharing. I'm not complaining. I'm just saying...

~Joan

Spiritual Sunday: The Music That Moves Me

2009-11-15T00:00:00.000-05:00

I'd like to share the concert I had with myself in the car the other day. As you know, my job is a hot mess! For some reason these songs just really spoke to me. Let go and let God. He is in control. Enjoy!

~Joan

Funny Friday: Am I being Punk'd?

2009-11-13T00:00:00.000-05:00

So I'm in the doctor's office for my monthly preggers check-up and I am sitting in the room with the door closed waiting for the ~~doctor~~ nursing student. I overhear someone talking on the phone outside of my room. Now mind you, I can only hear one side of the conversation. Lord only knows what was being said on the other end of the phone. So here's what I heard:

Oh, you get that if you go down on someone. You know like oral sex. Uh huh. Well, what were you doing? You can get it that way too. Well, what were you doing? Was it that boy you were with last week. Um hmm, uh huh.

Then she hung up the phone and I assume she began talking to someone else in the office. Remember I can't see anything. I can only hear her side of the conversation. She then says:

I know and whose fault do you think it is? Her mama! Can you believe she had those 13 year old girls up in a hotel room. I would nevah let my child be up in some hotel room with a group of kids by herself. Who knows what they were doing? They probably just had one big f*$@ fest and passed around all types of STDs.

At this point a small child's voice interjects:
What's an STD?

The loud talking woman responds:
It's a sexually transmitted disease and how old did I say you have to be before you can have sex?!

So you know at this point I'm thinking, WTH?!!! Are you kidding me? Am I being punk'd? What makes this story even more ridiculous is that I swear it was a nursing assistant who was having this loud obnoxious conversation. I really think I was the last patient, and the only other people there were the 5 or 6 people who were still working. I did hear a faint "shh" while she was yelling, but somebody really needed to tell her to shut up. How unprofessional for her to have that conversation in the office. She was soooooo loud! (in my best Dorothy voice) Oral sex, STDs, and f*$# fests, oh my!

On a different note...the nursing assistant who checked for the baby's heartbeat was having a heck of a time trying to find it. I tried to be patient, but it was hard. You see, I know my baby and the heartbeat is in the exact same place every time. I had to resist the urge to snatch the doppler out of her hand and say, "here, honey, it's right here." I have to remember that I am used to working with little people all day who I have to tell what to do and how to do it all day long, and I can't treat big people like little people. So I just waited and let the student have her glory when she finally found the heartbeat after like 5 minutes. If I didn't know my baby, I would have panicked, but I just waited. *Sigh* I'm growing.

I'm 19 weeks and hopefully I will find out the sex of the baby today. Keep your fingers crossed!

~Joan

Sunday Confession

2009-11-08T19:11:00.000-05:00

My husband often calls me from work to ask me grammar and spelling questions because he has reports that he has to review. How do you embarrass your husband right after he has gotten a promotion on the job? Here's how:

Recent phone conversation between Hubs and me...

Ring Ring

Me: Hello
Hubs: Hey honey. How do you spell plaits like when you are talking about somebody's hair?
Me: Plaits? Why do you need to know how to spell that? White people don't use that word.
Unknown Man's Voice: Yeah. That's why we are asking.
Me: Huh? Oh, am I on speaker?!
Hubs: Yes! Honey, you are on speaker.
Me: Oh, well I was just saying I have really never heard White people use that word so maybe you should use a more universal word like braids.
Hubs: (Chuckling) Okay, thanks.

Background info: My husband explained later that a lady was giving a description of a suspect and described him as having "chunks" in his hair. So of course my husband had to try to come up with a more "hair related" word to describe the "chunks" that she was talking about. He came up with plaits. I told him that "chunks" sounds like the guy may have had little afro puffs. Who knows? I just know that I would not use the word plaits in this case, especially when people who are unfamiliar with the word might be reading the report.

So now I'm thinking, oh crap! Now everyone at his job is going to think he's married to a racist. I was really trying to help even though my attempt may have sounded a little ignorant. I asked my husband if I had embarrassed him and he said no. Only one guy heard me, and he was not offended because he had never heard the term plait used to describe braids. So inquiring minds want to know. Do you think that the word plaits is cultural or universal? Help a sista out White people? Black people? Anyone? Do you use the word plaits? Or was I completely out of line with my assumption.

~Joan

Wordful Wednesday: Interview with Preggers

2009-11-04T00:00:00.001-05:00

Since I've been quite the SLACKER in keeping you all abreast of what's going on with my pregnancy, I thought I'd answer some of the most frequently asked questions. Feel free to ask more questions in the comment section, and I'll be sure to answer them next week.

Q: Have you been sick?
A: I've actually been extremely blessed and I have not been sick at all. Just sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have gas strong enough to destroy a small village. **Warning: Standing downwind from me is dangerous!**

Q: Do you have any cravings?
A: Yes. FOOD! I loved food before I got pregnant, and that love has only been enhanced since I've been pregnant. There's not a moment of the day when I am not thinking about food. Everything is fair game when it comes to food. I've been eating more chocolate than ever before and I've never been a real chocolate lover. I am scary around a bag of Hershey's Miniatures.

Q: Do you ever want a "drink?"
A: I rarely crave alcohol. However, I occasionally would not mind a bottle of Two Buck Chuck after hard week of work. Oh well, I'll have to wait a few more months for that.

Q: How far along are you?
A: I will be 18 weeks tomorrow.

Q: Are you having a boy or a girl?
A: I will hopefully find out next week. Stayed tuned!

Q: Have you thought about names?
A: Yes. We picked out names a long time ago. We have chosen a unisex name so the name will be the same if it is a girl or a boy. I've decided not to disclose the name of the baby, so I will refer to him/her as AV on my blog.

Q: Do you have a preference of sex?
A: I really just want a healthy baby, but I am secretly praying for a boy. I really will feel sorry for a girl because her hair will look a hot mess!

Q: Have you started a nursery?
A: No. We do have a room in the house, but we haven't thought about what to do with it. I was thinking about chocolate and blue or pink for colors depending on the sex.

Q: Have you been getting a lot of advice?
A: I have gotten tons of advice and most of it has been pretty positive. Some of the funniest advice I've gotten from people is about sex. I've heard candidly from several people that I should have sex every day so that the baby will come out easier. "Gurl, me and my huzbin had sex all throughout my pregnancy and my baby came out in two pushes." What makes this even more uncomfortable is that most of these conversations are taking place at work!

Q: Does anything annoy you?
A: Yes. Lots of things annoy me. This is yet something else that has been enhanced. Before I got pregnant, I had a bit of an attitude. Now my attitude is a bit more colorful. My lack of patience really shows. I try not to go off every day, but it is hard. People in general have just been getting on my nerves lately. I especially can't stand when people make smart comments about what I am eating. "Is that coffee you are drinking?" or "Is that a TV dinner? You should really only be eating fresh fruits and vegetables." MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS! This my body and if I want to drink a Coke every now and then, I will, and I don't want to hear advice from the peanut gallery. Unfortunately, my poor husband often gets the brunt of it. When he asks why I am yelling at him, I try to explain, "I'm yelling at the situation honey, not you. You see, when you leave boots at the bottom of the stairs, I just think about how I could have potentially broken my neck thus harming the baby, had I not been paying attention. That's all."

Until next week. Thank you for all of the well wishes!

~Joan

Spiritual Sunday: In Pursuit of Positivity

2009-11-01T21:17:00.004-05:00

To say that I dislike my job is an understatement. I am working in one of the worst possible places for a pregnant woman to be working right now, but somehow I have to find a way to find peace in this painful place. Every morning I pray the whole way to work, asking God to help me have a positive attitude and not to go off on anyone. However, each day it seems like the devil over takes my state of mind and I end up angry and stressed out. I know this is so unhealthy for me right now which is why I'm really trying to change. I think a lot of my negativity stems from frustration with my current situation. I would love to have the luxury to just say, "I quit. I don't need this stress, so I'm not going to work." Unfortunately, I don't have that luxury right now. I know I am not alone out here. I know there are other people out there who absolutely loathe their jobs. My question is: How do you remain positive in a sea of negativity? Thanks to a great friend that got my lazy butt up out of bed this morning, I tried out a new church today, and the message really moved me. One scripture in particular really spoke to me.

Work hard and cheerfully at all you do, just as though you were working for the Lord...remembering that it is the Lord Christ who is going to pay you, giving you your full portion of all He owns. He is the one you are really working for. And if you don't do your best for Him, He will pay you in a way you won't like--for He has no special favorites who can get away with shirking. Colossians 3:23-25 (TLB)

AMEN! If I have to read this 100 times a day, I will make it a point to remember who I am really working for.

~Joan

And the Winner is...

2009-10-29T21:56:00.003-04:00

...Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) of Stacy's Random Thoughts !

Stacy is the winner of this fabulous O Bracelet courtesy of Macy's Path to Peace Campaign.

Congratulations to Stacy!
Thank you to all who entered the contest!

~Joan

Go Christie, It's Your Birthday!

2009-10-26T21:38:00.013-04:00

Today is my big sister Christie’s birthday! She’s 30-something today, and she deserves to be honored for the wonderful person she is. Please stop by her blogs today and show her some love. Also tune in to her radio show on Wednesday and Friday to play some fun trivia and win some cool prizes in honor of the 1 year anniversary of her show and her birthday.

**Insert sappy sigh with music here.**

She had the great responsibility of giving me a name. She took care of me and protected me as a kid. She spun me around by my two pigtails. She loathed my presence when her friends were around. She guided me into young adulthood. She supported me through tough times.

I annoyed the hell out of her. I watched her every move. I wanted to dance like her. I wanted to play the piano like her. I wanted her flawless cheekbones. I wanted her perfect hair (don’t listen to her fake complaints about her so-called horrible hair that she has to do absolutely nothing to except for wake up and go). I wanted to be just like her.

It may sound cliché, but she truly has been the wind beneath my wings. Whenever I hear this song, it makes me cry because I think about how selfless she has always been when it comes to me. For so many years she let me shine and be the golden child while she stood in the shadows as the outcast. But what I knew all along that most people did not know was that she was courageous and strong. She had the courage to stand up to our parents. She had the courage to leave home and never come back. She had the courage to go to school on her own terms. She had the courage to build her own businesses.

And look at her now…shining bright as ever. I am so proud of Christie for all of her accomplishments. She slayed those wretched fat pants. She is kicking butt in social media and taking names. She is doing the damn thang! I just want to say on your birthday and every day, Christie, you inspire me to be a better person. Thank you for your unconditional love and friendship. Happy Birthday!

(Dear Christie: I know I am going to be in for a good 'ol fashioned beat down for posting these pics. What can I say? The 80's were very cruel to us all! I had to supplement the sappiness with some laughter. Please forgive me! Blame it on your aunt and your cousin. They gave me the pics.)

~Joan

Happy 100th Post to Me

2009-10-22T13:57:00.003-04:00

I can't believe I have finally made it to my 100th post! It seems like it has taken me forever to get here. I struggled with coming up with something clever to do in honor of this milestone and I had nuthin. BUT thanks to The Blogrollers, I have a fabulous giveaway that supports an excellent cause, and I know anyone would be happy to win.

The Blogrollers are currently working on a project called Rwanda Path to Peace. The project is kicking of with Macy's O Bracelet. Each bracelet is hand-made by two women -- a weaver in Rwanda and a jewelry artist in New Orleans. Each bracelet is unique and has a tag attached with the names of the women who made it. The purpose of this outreach campaign is to raise awareness and support these women as they work to rebuild and maintain their respective societies.

I am giving away a fabulous O Bracelet courtesy of Macy's via my girls Christie and Lorraine of The Blogrollers.

You can do any or all of the following to win. The more you do, the more entries you get.
1. Follow my blog
2. Follow me on twitter @joanofalltrades
3. Follow The Blogrollers blog
4. Follow The Blogrollers on twitter @theblogrollers
5. Tweet the contest
6. Post about the contest
*** Best of all, you do not need to write me individual comments for each one. Just leave me 1 comment saying, "I've done x, y, and, z and I would love to win an O Bracelet."***
The winner will be chosen by random.org. The contest ends on October 29th at 10pm EST. Good Luck!

~Joan

Wordful Wednesday: Blogalicious--Believe It!

2009-10-14T00:00:00.001-04:00

Um....WOW! That's the only way I can sum it up--WOW! This past weekend I had the privilege of attending the Blogalicious 2009 conference (social media conference for women of color and all who are interested) in Atlanta, GA. This is my first blogging conference, and it was truly awesome! Everyone who had been to other conferences said that Blogalicious was the best conference they had ever attended, from the camaraderie, to the swag, to the accommodations, to the sessions, to the food and entertainment. The fabulous Justices of the MamaLaw Media Group did it up big with style and class. I cried every time someone got up and gave a heartfelt speech (partly because they were moving and partly because my hormones are a mess due to the little person who has taken up residence inside of my body). We spent a jammed pack weekend full of networking, learning how to improve our blogs and social media presence, showing marketers that we do have a voice, partying, and connecting with some of the most inspirational women I have ever met in my life. Kudos to Nadia, Nyasha, and Stacie (MamaLaw Media Group)! You ladies have truly outdone yourselves. I can't wait until Blogalicious 2010 in Miami, FL!

Here are some pictures and highlights of the conference:

Disney Interactive's Luncheon on Saturday: We had a great New Orleans style lunch in honor of The Princess and the Frog which hits theaters November 25, 2009. Princess Tiana is Disney's first Black fairy tale princess. They also had the new Princess Tiana Wii game for us to test out.
Karen Walrond, author of The Beauty of Different. She's a dynamic and inspirational speaker who brought us all to our feet, and of course, me to tears.

Disney Interactive Luncheon

Marketing to women of color panelist discussion

Omanster and James Andrews aka KeyInfluencer djing The Blogrollers Party. It was off the hook! People are still talking about how fun it was. There were even some brief celebrity appearances. Congrats to Lorraine and Christie for throwing a fabulous party!

Justice Fergie on UStream at The Blogrollers' party.

The Chatterbox aka Christie aka 1/2 of The Blogrollers with Justice Fergie and Jonesie of Mamalaw.

The Justices of Mamlaw

Suave Brunch

The writing genius, Denene Millner of My Brown Baby brought the entire room to tears after hear heartfelt speech about her rise to fame and the loss of her beloved mother.

The new artist, Priscilla Renea put it down with 2 songs from her upcoming debut album Jukebox which drops on December 1, 2009.

Christie and Fiona of Bantering Blonde

Me and my big sis. We look a bit of a hot mess after crying our eyes out over Denene's speech and Priscilla's songs.

The Blogrollers with Gwen Peake of the Duck Walk.

Wordless Wednesday: Bun in the Oven

2009-10-07T00:00:00.001-04:00

3 Month Belly

No morning sickness--just hunger and sleepiness!

~Joan

How I Found Out I Was Pregnant

2009-10-01T00:00:00.000-04:00

Disclaimer: If you are not into TMI, then you may want to skip this post.

Background info: A little over a year ago, I went off the pill and started a job where I traveled all the time. 8 months later, I was still not pregnant (I know you are saying, "duh! How can you get pregnant if you are never home?" Right! So anyway, my job had me so stressed that I decided I better get back on the pill because I didn't want to be pregnant under those conditions--not to mention I wanted to get rid of the horrible adult acne and the painfully heavy flow each month. Fast forward to July of this year. I quit my job and went off the pill for a month, and wallah, I'm preggers! It really is true that when you stop thinking so hard about it, it just happens.

How I Found Out: All of July of August I felt really depressed and tired. I actually thought I was losing my mind. I think I cried about MJ's death for 2 months straight. I was losing it! Then, the time rolled around for my cycle. I am like clockwork whether I'm on or off the pill. It always comes the same week by Thursday. It was Friday and it hadn't come yet. I was at my aunt's house with my mom and my sister. I explained to everyone how I was feeling and everyone told me I should take a pregnancy test. Being the frugal fannie that I am, I explained that every time I take a pregnancy test my period comes the next day and I'm pissed that I wasted the money. Well, Chrisite (my sister) told me that Baby Makin(g) Machine aka Futuremama was passing out dollar store pregnancy tests at BlogHer and apparently they are reliable. I said, "what the hell, I can spend a dollar, right?" I went to the dollar store and bought 3 tests just to be safe. Long story short, I peed on the stick and it was positive in like 2 seconds. I was definitely skeptical at first. I went home and took another one--positive again. I showed it to hubs and this convo followed:

Hubs: What's that?
Me: A pregnancy test.
Hubs: Uh huh. What's this mean?
Me: I'm pregnant!
Hubs: Stop playin! For real?!
Me: This is the second positive test.

He spent the next several weeks in shock. I don't think he really believed it until he saw the ultrasound last week. We both are very excited. Unfortunately, Hubs spends every waking moment worrying, and I spend every waking moment wishing I was eating or asleep. Do you think I was too harsh when Hubs was worrying last night and he told me he really needed someone to talk to and I said, "not me." I mean, I just can't go down the how-many-ways-can-the-baby-die path with him every day. Am I wrong?

Anyway, this story is way too long, so I'll write more later. BTW: Im 13 weeks today and I'm finally gettig back to my old self--a little. Don't let Hubs tell it though ;)

~Joan

Wordless Wednesday: Guess Who's Preggers!

2009-09-30T22:20:00.002-04:00

ME!

~Joan

Mr. and Mrs. Murphy Monday: Our Wedding Night

2009-08-09T22:33:00.011-04:00

My family has nicknamed me and my hubby Mr. and Mrs. Murphy because of the random stuff that always seems to happen to us. You know Murphy's Law; "Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way." I don't look at myself as cursed, but as someone who is very blessed. Weird things just happen to me; that's all.
This edition of Mr. and Mrs. Murphy is a throwback from 2006--my wedding night. Now before you go thinking that this is a story about how my wedding was a complete disaster, trust that it actually wasn't. My wedding day was probably the most fabulous day in my life. With that said, allow me to explain what happened after the wedding was over.

My uncle gave us a limo as a wedding present and my sister booked us a hotel room for our wedding night. Everything was planned and ready to go. When it was time to get in the limo, my husband realized that his best man left with his overnight bag in the trunk. We got married in my mom's backyard and our condo was only a couple minutes away so we asked the driver to stop by our house so Hubs could get some clothes.

When we arrived at the hotel, several teenie boppers were entering. We realized that a prom was going on in one of the ballrooms--great! We walked into the lobby still dressed in wedding dress and tuxedo. Hubs was wearing his baseball cap that said GROOM on the front. So we clearly looked like newlyweds, right? WRONG!

We maybe got 20 feet in the door when we heard, "hats off." We kept walking because clearly the hotel worker was not talking to us. Then the voice got louder and more obviously directed toward us. My husband continued to ignore him, but I was a little offended that this ~~fool~~ professional would put us in the category with the prom goers. I mean my dress WAS FABULOUS and my husband had on a hat that clearly said GROOM. I don't know. Maybe he couldn't read. So I just had to say:

"Dude! I'm wearing a fricken wedding dress and he is wearing a hat that says GROOM. We just got married, you idiot!"

He followed us a little after that because we weren't walking in the direction of the prom. DUH! At this point my husband stopped:

"Look man! Can't you see we just got married!"

We then walked to the front desk and this ~~fool~~ professional commenced to yell at us from the door which was like 500 feet away. He was screaming some garbage about us having an attitude and what not. This infuriated my husband and I literally had to hold him back. Heck yeah we had an attitude. He's lucky he didn't get injured. I mean really. He was completely out of control! The lady at the front desk apologized profusely, and we decided to let it go for the sake of the occasion. We did end up having a lovely wedding night. However, the next morning we had a lengthy conversation with the manager of the hotel.

Moral of the story: Some people take their jobs a little too seriously.

~Joan

My New Obsession

2009-08-02T20:35:00.005-04:00

I recently discovered http://freerice.com/ a non-profit website run by the United Nations World Food Program. It's a site where you can easily donate rice (for free) to people in need around the world. All you have to do is answer questions related to a subject matter of your choice, and for every correct answer you get, 10 grains of rice are automatically donated. I have really been brushing up on my Spanish vocabulary. I know 10 grains doesn't seem like much, but this is addictive. In 10 minutes I donated over 1,000 grains. It's totally worth it. You can't beat giving back and having fun while doing it. Please help feed the hungry and take time to visit http://freerice.com/ .

~Joan

Moms Say the Darndest Things

2009-07-30T00:00:00.001-04:00

Here are a couple of things my mom has said in the past couple of weeks that has cracked me up.

1. "Unfortunately, I'm not on twitter. I don't twit!" (yes twit rhymes with spit)

2.
Me: I danced to Lollipop in my "modern" dance class tonight.
Mom: Oooo. Singing--Lollipop, lollipop, oh lolly lollipop......lollipop, (pop sound), ba bom bom bom
Me and Sister: Bursts of laughter

Guess she's never heard of Lil' Wayne, huh?
~Joan

Sisterly Love on Chick Chat

2009-07-28T23:46:00.005-04:00

It's our turn to do a little Chick Chat for our girls, 3 BayB Chicks. The Chatterbox aka Christie-My Life a Work in Progress aka my sister and I jumped at the chance to let you in to our sisterly lives. Now, if you know either of us via our blogs or in real life you know how absolutely IMPOSSIBLE it was to do a 3 to 4 minute video. There was LOTS of editing!! It probably didn't help that we were consuming sangria at the time. So here we are...The ChatterBox and Joan of All Trades...sister's extraordinaire!

Hope you enjoyed our Chick Chat. If you made it here first, please hop on over to Christie's blog and leave a comment there as well even if you have to copy and paste. Thanks!

BTW, here are the other sisters who are participating in this month's Chick Chat. Please show them some love too:

Grand Pooba from Pooba and Lindee from The Orr Family Est. 2006

Lolli from Better in Bulk and Andrea from The Hatchers and Their Hatchling

Angie from The Arthur Clan and Drew from Happy Chaos

Kacey from Three Bay B Chicks and her sister, Mindy (Mindy does not have a blog.)

~Joan

VOTE OR DIE!!!

2009-07-26T18:00:00.002-04:00

Okay, so I know I am being a lil' dramatic. But seriously! This is my sister we are talking about! She needs to win this Mamavation contest. Watch her heartfelt video below to see why. Vote for @chatterboxcgc here every day until July 30th.

Thanks for your support!

~Joan

Get Your Suave On!

2009-07-17T23:51:00.001-04:00

MomSelect and Suave Skin have teamed up to give women and moms a beautiful skin experience. They chose my sister Christie (aka The Chatterbox and 1 half of The Blogrollers) as one of the women to throw a Suave Skin "Shower Yourself Beautiful" in-home Shower to showcase their new skin products. Unfortunately, Christie has super-duper sensitive skin and is allergic to everything used in making most skin products. Anyhoo, this is where I come into play. Christie elected me to take her place since she could not sample the items herself. I received a ginormous box of Suave Skin products for FREE! What did I have to do in return? Throw a shower, give away the products, and talk about the Suave experience.

Let me start by saying I've been using the products ever since they arrived on my doorstep. The body wash smells so good, and the lotion takes care of my extra dry skin without feeling like I'm wearing Crisco Butter (if you have dry skin, you know what I mean). Also, thank you so much to Suave Skin for your mission to make women feel beautiful.

Each guest walked home with these products: Suave Naturals Apricot Exfoliating Body Wash and Advanced Therapy Body Lotion and the New Suave Naturals Wild Cherry Blossom Indulgent Body Wash.

One lucky lady won a fabulous foot spa thanks to Suave.

And what's a spa party without some wine and spirits? We sipped on some yummy Sangria by Savida. I'm very proud of myself because I actually bought fruit to cut up and put in the Sangria. We also had crackers, cheese, and salami.

Each guest got a chance to sample the products before taking them home. How did they like the products? Let's just say there was a lot of ooing and aahhing. And after the games of tennis we played prior to the shower, the body wash and lotion really came in handy!

We had an awesome Suave Skin experience! Thanks for showering us beautiful, Suave!

Click here to win a Spa Get Away from Suave!

~Joan

I Fear the Deer

2009-06-26T20:28:00.006-04:00

I am terrified of deer! I know you are thinking, that's ridiculous, deer are completely innocent creatures. Whatever! Deer give me the creeps for two reasons:

1. I watched that episode of When Animals Attack where that man was attacked by a fighting deer. That deer stood up on two feet and boxed that man like he was some dude on the street!

2. When I was in high school I was driving to my friend's house one night and I happened upon several deer in the middle of the road. Well my headlights apparently blinded one of them, and he went ballistic. The deer commenced to actually chase after my car. I had to burn rubber in a 360 degree motion to get away from it. It was literally the scariest moment I have ever had in a car.

Moving on to my deer experience today which is why I am writing this post...

I was walking to my friend's house, and I spotted a deer across the street on the corner. The deer then met eyes with me. Do you know that sucker started toward me. My heart started beating fast, sweat beads started to fall, and I walked as fast as I could back to the house. I literally fell into the front door screaming. My mother thought I was crazy (she still thinks I'm crazy).

Can you believe that fricken deer tried to punk me? It was like he smelled the fear. I really can't stand deer. They are starting to get a little too bold. Do you think they might be getting together to stage a revolution to take back their habitat?

~Joan

I'm Featured Today!

2009-06-19T09:00:00.000-04:00

Okay. I know I have been beyond absent from the blogosphere, and I have the same excuse as always. I've been traveling and working nonstop since the beginning of May. Please forgive me. I am now on a MUCH NEEDED vacation in my hometown of Silver Spring, Maryland. I have finally slowed down, and I am experiencing the worst back pain of my life. Anyway, enough about my aches and pains because even in my absence, I am The Blogrollers' featured blogger today!!! I am so honored that the Chatterbox and Wifey are giving me some love on their awesome blog today. Hop on over there and check it out. I promise I will be posting and commenting regularly again over the summer. Thanks for continuing to be faithful followers in the midst of my mess. You guys are the best!

~Joan

Wordless Wednesday: Time Out for Seniors?

2009-06-03T00:00:00.001-04:00

When I walked into my grandmother's (Nanny) house, she was sitting in this kiddie chair.

Me: Nanny are you in time out? (Laughing)
Nanny: No (Laughing)
Me: Why on earth are you sitting in that little chair? How did you get down there and how are you going to get up?
Nanny: This chair is comfortable for my back and I can fit in it.

My grandmother is 87 years old. She is doing very well for her age!

~Joan

NOT ME Monday

2009-06-01T00:30:00.002-04:00

This is NOT my first NOT ME Monday. I am NOT overjoyed and so appreciative of all of the birthday love I got last week because I did NOT spend my birthday completely alone in a hotel and all of the love did NOT totally lift my spirits. I did NOT cry for the second time after reading my sister’s tribute to me on her blog.
This is not a picture of me bundled up like an Eskimo on an airplane when it was over 80 degrees outside.

That air pouring out of the vents is NOT the reason I am NOT bundled up like an Eskimo in that picture. I absolutely do NOT hate being cold! Those bags that are NOT under my eyes are NOT a result of the fire alarm going off at 4am in my hotel. I did NOT take the time to get my wedding ring, earrings, cell phone, purse, and car keys before I evacuated. I also did NOT purposely leave both of my laptops in the hotel room because I was NOT secretly wishing they would burn up in a fire, so I could get a break from work; that would be ridiculous! (BTW: False alarm)

I did NOT grunt loudly and obnoxiously when the woman sitting next to me on the plane failed to cover her mouth when she coughed—NOT ME. I would NOT be that rude.

I’m NOT sitting on a different plane right now typing this post because we are not being held on the runway by air traffic control for two hours. There is NOT a baby screaming to the top of her lungs. There are NOT a whole bunch of people complaining loudly about how ridiculous it is that we have to wait. They are NOT getting on my fricken nerves! I do NOT wish they all would shut up and go to sleep.

This is NOT a picture of the phone in the hotel room I’m staying in this week. Where the heck are the rest of the buttons?!

I am NOT anxious about hearing who won The Blog Rollers’ 4th Wheel Contest. Do NOT click here if you want to see the video I submitted. I am NOT totally annoyed that Twilight won every single MTV movie award (weren't there any other movies out this year). I did NOT just finish my very first Google video chat with my husband and we were both NOT amazed at how cool it was. We were also NOT kicking ourselves for not doing this sooner. I would NOT rather be home with my husband right now.

~Joan

Happy Birthday to Me!

2009-05-26T00:00:00.004-04:00

30 years ago the most wonderful woman in the world gave birth to me! Below is her birthday present to me. Enjoy!

Yes, that is my mother singing in the video. Now you know where I get my love for karaoke. Okay, you can stop laughing now at all of my different hairstyles and creative Halloween costumes. I think my mother made almost every Halloween costume I ever had. She's just creative that way. Thanks for the trip down memory lane and giving me such a wonderful birthday present Mom!

~Joan

The Blog Rollers' 4th Wheel Contest: Can I roll?

2009-05-24T23:59:00.002-04:00

I'm sure most of you have heard about the Blog Rollers' 4th Wheel Contest to win a ticket to Blogher in Chicago. Well, you know I'm trying to win, so hopefully my video is enough to get my butt in that Chevy. I tried 4 different video editing programs to get this stinkin video to work and the sound on the video is still off.....so just pretend my mouth is moving at the same time as my words. Cross your fingers and your toes!

~Joan

Am I the Only One...

2009-05-15T09:09:00.003-04:00

...who has conversations like this with her husband?

Me: Have you seen my lotion?
Hubs: Check the pantry.

What tha...?

Me: Where are the nail clippers?
Hubs: Check in the bed.

What tha...?

Me: Where is the fourth pillow for our bed?
Hubs: I don't know. You haven't seen it?
Me: No. I just got back in to town. Where is the pillow?
Hubs: I don't know.
Me: How in the heck do you lose a big 'ol pillow?! Just tell me what happened. Did you spill something on it and decide to throw it away?

(Pillow misteriously reappears several weeks later.)

Me: Oh look....the missing pillow!
Husband: Huh? Oh yeah.
Me: Where did it come from?
Husband: shrugs

What tha...?

Is it just me?

BTW: Tomorrow we will be celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary! Happy Day to us!

~Joan

Wordless Wednesday: What does this song mean to you?

2009-05-13T00:00:00.000-04:00

India.Arie - New Music - More Music Videos

My Black is Beautiful
Hair Story

~Joan

Happy Mother's Day!

2009-05-10T20:17:00.003-04:00

Happy Mother's Day to all of the wonderful mother's out there! Without God's love and you the world would not exist. I hope you all were able to relax and enjoy some peace today. Click here to read my tribute to my mother.

~Joan

(Not So) Wordless Wednesday: You Go Girl! (A male perspective)

2009-04-29T00:00:00.003-04:00

Have you seen the Go-Girl? It's a unique female urination device that allows women to pee standing up. Still don't get it? Click on the picture to the left to find out more information and to get your own Go-Girl. Watch the video to see why I love my family. They bring me comic relief on a daily basis. Listen to my sister and my husband's conversation about the Go-Girl.

PoleLaTeaz Birthday

2009-04-28T09:18:00.006-04:00

First let me give a big birthday shout out to Wifey at Ask Wifey! Last week a group of us went out to celebrate her birthday Player's Club style. We all got the chance to let down our hair and embrace our inner Sasha Fierce (Beyonce), Diamond (Player's Club), and Chardonnay (For the Love of Ray J). Angela of PoleLaTeaz (pronounced pole-la-tease) gave us a fabulous introductory pole dancing class. To say we had a blast is a complete understatement. I personally was shocked at how much fun I had. I had so many inhibitions going into the class. I thought I would be too uncomfortable to swing on the pole in front of people, and I was extremely fearful of breaking my leg or something. Let me just say, if you have not tried pole dancing, it's a great workout. Check out PoleLaTeaz if you are in the Atlanta area. You won't be sorry! And in case anyone is curious, those are not my feet in those heels above. My feet were absolutely killing me in the grandma heels that I was wearing. I'm a flats kinda gal.

Aren't we fierce?! Look closely......you may see some faces you recognize :)

I can honestly say that there are very few experiences that I haven't shared with my dear sister. This is one for the books! Go to Ask Wifey and The Blogrollers (PoleLaTeaz post) to show Wifey some birthday love! Happy Birthday Wifey!

~Joan

And the Winners Are...

2009-04-23T19:19:00.004-04:00

Congratulations to the winners of my BIG FAT GOOD EATING GIVEAWAY!

Ryan Ashley Scott at Optimistic Cynicism

Carey at Life in the Carpool Lane

The Caretaker at The Life of a PTSD's Spouse

Congratulations on winning a 1 year membership to A Flash in the Pan! You will be contacted by A Flash in the Pan regarding your membership. Enjoy! I expect to see some vlogging on your meals!

Thank you to all of my faithful followers and the newbies that this contest brought me! Yay!

~Joan

And the Winner Is.....

2009-04-17T23:50:00.004-04:00

First things first. If you haven't entered my BIG FAT GOOD EATING GIVEAWAY, what on earth are you waiting for? Click here to see how you can be a winner!

Back to our regularly scheduled program already in progress....

The Octomom Challenge was a lot of fun even though it made most of you sick just thinking about her. The witty titles for her could-be reality show you submitted were:

My Ovaries Are Shot To Hell, But I Have A Million Bucks And A Million Kids

How to be a Goldigger and never get your body back to what it used to be

8 is Never Enough

Lifestyles of the Overly Reproductive & Wanna Be Famous

How to Manipulate Your Children into Rolling in the Bucks

Wide Load

How stupid got stupider

Octodumb

Bad mommy chronicles

OctaMama 911

The Biggest Loser

There once was a woman who lived in a shoe...

Can you Pay my Bills (neither can I)

My Fifteen Minutes of Shame

Your Tax Dollars At Work

And the winner is.....

Lifestyles of the Overly Reproductive & Wanna Be Famous

Submitted by Juls at Every Day is a Crazee Day a.k.a. Crazee Juls at Ask Crazee Juls (her new blog--Check it out!). Congrats Juls for getting the most votes and winning a free drink of your choice from Starbucks! Email me so I can send you your prize!

BTW: I'm a featured blogger!

I let the day slip away! The fabulous Angela at Hanging With Mrs. Cooper featured me on her blog yesterday! Thanks Mrs. C! Do go over and pay her a visit and show us both some love! Thanks to all of you who have already showed us love!
~Joan

Freebie Friday: My BIG FAT GOOD EATING Giveaway

2009-04-17T00:00:00.003-04:00

**BEWARE!** THIS IS BIG!

Okay, pardon the dramatic introduction, but I am so excited about this giveaway!

*Side note: Go to the top of this page and vote for the best name for Octomom's new reality show (no, you can't vote for yours if you submitted a title, but you can vote for someone else's :). They were all too funny for me to choose a winner, so I need your assistance. Thanks!

On to the BIG GIVEAWAY!

When I say that I am "Joan of All Trades," cooking doesn't not fall on my list of trades. I'm always welcome to suggestions or tools for making my life easy in the kitchen. My peeps over at A Flash in the Pan have given me the go ahead to give away some great stuff.

A Flash In The Pan is the answer to, "What’s for dinner?" Every Friday, they provide a week’s worth of customizable, chef-created dinner menus for the upcoming week. Select how many servings and what time you want to eat and they take care of the rest! You’ll get a shopping list and their patented Cooksheet™ to help you think and cook like a chef. All you have to do is prepare for the compliments!

Here's what we're giving away:

3-1 year memberships to A Flash in the Pan

And for the GRAND PRIZE....The person with the most entries (in case of a tie, I will use random.org) will be entered into the drawing (I'll give you the choice of the membership or being entered into the drawing) by me during the A Flash In The Pan Twitter Party on Wednesday, April 22 at 8 p.m.(#FIPan) to win.......Drum roll please:

2 Chefs:
Max and Nancy are two chefs from Napa Valley and founders of aflashinthepan.com. They both graduated from the Culinary Institute of America and have over 35 years of professional culinary experience between them. One lucky winner will win both of them for one evening and an incredible 6-course dinner for 6 people. Both chefs will come to the winner's house, prepare the feast AND clean up after! So, decide who your five best friends are and enter to win!

Rules:
1. Chefs will travel to anywhere in the United States only.
2. Chefs will pay for all travel and food expenses. If desired, any wine or alcohol will be provided by winner.
3. Menu to be determined by winner and chefs.
4. Date of dinner to be determined by winner and chefs.
5. Please enter even if you fear that your house is too dirty for company or that you will be judged-- we have children and understand!

That's 3 winners and possibly a 4th!

Here's how to get entries:

1. Comment on this post.

2. Follow me (If you are already following me, that's 1 entry for you. See, it pays to be my friend.)

3. Follow me on twitter.

4. Blog about the contest and link back to me. (Please leave me a comment with a link to your post.)

5. Donate any amount to any of the charities I'm supporting. Email me to let me know you donated. (See Donate to a Worthy Cause in the right sidebar.)

6. Grab my button and let me know that you grabbed it.

7. Tweet about the contest and link to me on twitter.

Contest ends April 20th at 3pm EST! Winners will be announced on April 23rd!

The winner of the Octomom challenge will be announced some time this weekend!

Good luck!

~Joan

The Demise of Reality TV: Name That Reality Show

2009-04-15T11:06:00.008-04:00

(picture courtesy of The Best Week Ever)

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've probably heard that "the Octomom" might be getting her own reality show. Say it ain't so! I vowed to boycott TV if they gave this woman her own show! They have been hoodwinked and bamboozled. Don't these ~~fools~~ intelligent individuals know that this was her master plan all along? Any network that is ~~stupid~~ brave enough to pick up this show will be committing reality TV suicide. Her stipulation for doing a show is that she doesn't want to be called "Octomom." I agree with her. She shouldn't be called Octomom. She has 14 kids, not 8! So maybe we should call her Sextoctomom. Anyway, I thought in light of my misery over this, I would hold a little contest. GIVE AWAY TIME! Whoever can come up with the best title for the potential show will win a free drink of your choice from my favorite place--Starbucks! I can't wait to see your ideas! Contest ends Thursday, April 16 at midnight EST!

~Joan

This Is Why I Need My Own Reality Show: 1

2009-04-10T10:50:00.002-04:00

5 minutes ago......
My Mom is in town visiting. Hubby begins preparing to cook breakfast and throws a roll of sausage on the counter.

Mom: Sausage?
Hubby: Yeah.
Mom: Aren’t you Catholic?
Hubby: Mmm hmm?
Mom: It’s Good Friday isn’t it?
Hubby: Oh. It’s Good Friday?!

Hubby shrugs….continues with the sausage.

God bless him!

~Joan

Is It Just Me?

2009-04-09T00:00:00.002-04:00

Before I met my hubby he had a motorcycle that got stolen. He always wanted another one, but I was totally against it because I think they're too dangerous. I even threatened to shave my head bald if he bought one (I know, real mature, right). This year I finally gave in to the motorcycle because I was sick of it being an issue and I knew he really wanted one. I even said I might ride if he buys me a pink helmet ;)

So yesterday, I was thinking to myself, tomorrow is going to be a nice day, so he'll probably ride his motorcycle. Let me make some small talk about it and show him some support to let him know I am no longer bitter about the bike:

Me: Are you going to ride your bike tomorrow?

Hubby: (sarcastic laugh) Why? What's going on?

Me: Nothing. I was just wondering if you were going to ride your bike.

Hubby: (annoyed) Where is this going? What do you need to do tomorrow? Do you need the car for something?

Me: No! I was just curious. Why are you so paranoid? You are looking way too deep into this.

Hubby: No. Why are you talking around the subject? Just ask me what you really want to ask. I don't like when you indirectly try to ask me something.

Me: I don't do that. You do that. I was just asking a question...trying to make small talk, but I'll just stop talking now.

Hubby: Well, I do do that, but I won't do it anymore because I don't like when you do it.

Me: I'm not doing it! Just making small talk...

Hubby: That's not small talk. Small talk is, 'Hey. How ya doing?' I know what this is about. You heard me on the phone talking to my friend about our bikes, but you don't want to admit that's what this is about.

Me: Okay, psycho! I'm so not talking to you anymore!

The thing is, I know he was acting like this because he had plans to ride his bike. I was completely fine with that. Anyway, luckily we get on each other's nerves all the time and it usually ends with someone being called "psycho" and then we go about our normal lives. I can count on one hand the number of times we have actually gone to bed upset with each other and still have a few fingers left over. Have you ever had a conversation like this with your spouse or significant other?

Now I know why I never witnessed my grandparents have a conversation in 20 years ;)

~Joan

Family Ties Part 2: The Verdict

2009-04-08T00:00:00.000-04:00

You may want to read yesterday's post to understand the story behind today's.

Well, those of you who guessed that my brother-in-law is in his 30's were close, but no cigar. He will actually be 41 this year! I know........SAD! Also, the dog really did only have one puppy. It's rare, but apparently it does happen from time to time. Anyway, I contemplated not doing these posts about him because I didn't want him to read them and get offended. Then I remembered that he just discovered the internet a couple of months ago (Oh wow! The internet has everything! I can find people I haven't talked to in a long time too!") and figured I'd be safe. Oh, did I mention when he came to visit us on Thanksgiving that he actually drove to the airport to purchase his plane ticket. I almost peed on myself when my husband told me this. ~~What is wrong with that man?!~~ I guess everyone is unique in their own way!

~Joan

Family Ties: Must We Claim Him?

2009-04-07T00:00:00.000-04:00

Here's the phone conversation that occurred between my hubby and his brother at 6am some time last week:

Hubs: (sleepy and annoyed) Hello.

Bro: Hey man! Diamond (his dog) just had her puppy!

Hubs: Puppy? Just one puppy?

Bro: Yeah.

Hubs: Well that's unusual. When dogs have babies, they usually have litters.

Bro: Naw, she just had one.

Hubs: That still doesn't sound right.

Bro: Yeah. I only let her do it once.

Hubs: I have to go!

Hangs up phone and turns to me.

Hubs: I don't think my brother understands how babies are made or where they come from!

Okay, now let's play a little game called How Old is My Brother-in-Law. There just might be something in it for the person who guesses the correct age. Stay tuned for more brother-in-law blunders!

~Joan

I'm Back...For Now

2009-04-05T21:24:00.006-04:00

Where have I been? I've been working, staying in crappy hotels, dealing with crappy attitudes, suffering from internet deprivation, and spending countless hours in airports. Am I upset? NO! I am happy to be back in the blogosphere for the time being.

While I was away, you all kept up your dedication to the sphere and I managed to win an award a contest, and receive a nice shout!

Thanks to Juls at Every Day is a Crazee Day and all of you, this post landed me my first contest win ever--the Does This Make Me Crazee award. Juls is sending me a lovely Scrabble Tile pendant from Word Designs.

Tara S. Dickherber, M.Ed, CPC at My Life Coach Tara just finished her first e-book, and I had the privilege of editing it. Today I opened up her blog, and to my surprise, her most recent post was entitled Joanofalltrades. She gave me a great shout, so a BIG THANKS to you Tara.

Also, a special thanks goes out to Shanda at A Teachable Heart for donning me with another Honest Scrap Award. I will play along, so here are 7 honest things about me that also may increase your crazee thoughts about me:

1. When I am in the New York subway I feel gross. Gross like stuff is crawling all over me gross. It's almost unbearable.
2. I played and coached girl's basketball, but I much rather watch the Men's NCAA tourney and the NBA playoffs than their female counterparts (I know--sorry ladies).
3. (Sorry, I can't resist) As I'm typing this post, my husband just burped into his shirt and I guess he got too big a whiff and he just said, "Oh my God" with this disgusted look on his face. LOL! I'm glad I am sitting across the room so I didn't have to smell that.
4. Eating is my favorite pastime.
5. I'm addicted to reality TV.
6. I'm glad I'm allergic to animals since my husband wants cats and dogs. Sorry, my health comes first honey :)
7. I can't wait to hear the wonderful announcement The Chatterbox has for us on her show tomorrow at 10am EST.

Okay, I'm supposed to pass this to 7 people, but most of you have received this award. So, if there are any of you out there who have not received it yet, it's yours. You're welcome!

BTW: If you haven't checked out any of the above mentioned ladies' blogs, what are you waiting for? Go on and show them some love! They are saying fabulous things and uplifting me every day!

~Joan

Does This Make Me Crazee?

2009-03-28T00:36:00.004-04:00

In celebration of her 100 posts, Juls over at Everyday is a Crazee Day, wants to see just how crazee I am. This is what makes me crazee:

1. I have to distribute my food evenly when I eat. Meaning, I chew my first bite on the left side and my second bite on the right. Call me crazee, but I think it's helped me avoid cavities. Dental balance!

2. I'm terrified of the dark.

3. I still get a little nervous when I flush the toilet because of that movie "Alligator" that came out in the 80's (remember when the alligator ended up in the toilet).

4. I put sugar in my grits.

5. I hum when I read.

6. When people cough or sneeze in my presence I hold my breath as long as I can as to not inhale their germs.

7. I hyperventilated after witnessing the birth of my niece.

8. 90 degrees is a comfortable temperature for me. Anything less is cold.

9. I hate the smell and taste of mint. Gum grosses me out. If you are in my car chewing gum or eating something mint flavored, be prepared to be asked to leave. Being in a confined space with mint makes me want to call it quits.

10. Ever since I saw the episode of Golden Girls where Dorothy was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue syndrome, I've been convinced that I have it. Either that or narcolepsy. Speaking of Golden Girls, am I the only one who has seen every episode more than once and can actually quote full dialogues (not you, Christie.....I know you're worse than me)?

Okay Juls! You have exposed me for the crazee person that I really am. I expect you all to accept my craziness and embrace your own. Are you crazee too?? Well head on over to Everyday is a Crazee Day, and play along.

~Joan

Fun Friday: VGNO and Happy 75th Post!

2009-03-27T19:17:00.005-04:00

Tonight I'm at home and it's a rainy yucky mess outside. Soooooooo......I'm joining in on the Virtual Girl's Night Out fun hosted by Ann. If you don't know about VGNO, you must go over and visit Ann to see how you too can join in the fun. Tonight's game is "Captain Stubing Walks Into A Bar." Ann has challenged us to turn these words into a silly, strange, freaky or completely wild little story.

**Lounge **Gopher
**Captains Table **Zsa Zsa Gabor
**Charo **Pacific Princess
**Lido Deck **Pool

Well, I am always bucking the system and quite frankly I'm not in the story writing mood right now so I decided to see if I could use all of these words in one sentence. Here it goes:

Up on the Lido Deck of the fabulous Pacific Princess cruise ship, Zsa Zsa Gabor plays pool at the Captain’s Table while Charo throws back shots in the Love Boat Lounge, ditching his gopher duties.

BTW: Today is my 75th post!
~Joan

2009-03-22T21:21:00.003-04:00

Aside...Please pardon my absence in the blogosphere. I've been traveling, working, and not sleeping. I am back now, and I've missed you all! Now on to Spiritual Sunday....

As you know I have no problem shamelessly plugging my place of worship, Impact Church. This time it's for a much greater cause. The church has partnered with Blood:Water Mission, a 501(c)3, in an effort to bring water to Africa. Millions of Africans are losing their lives because they don't have access to clean water. The cost of one well ($4500) can provide water for a village of 1000 people. If we all contribute a little, we can make a big difference!

Impact's worship team has produced a song, "Thirst No More"- featuring Isaac Carree of Men Of Standard, which can be downloaded for $1. 100% of the proceeds will benefit Blood:Water Mission. Click here to purchase the MP3 for $1 and help bring water to people in need in Africa and click here for more information about Blood: Water Mission. Please spread the word!

~Joan

Thought Provoking Thursday: Tax Relief

2009-03-12T13:00:00.003-04:00

I ~~stole~~ borrowed this meme from Christie at My Life-A Work in Progress.

Yesterday, my husband and I went to Jackson Hewitt to get our taxes done at 1pm. 4 hours and 2 bad attitudes later, we walked out of the office owing money for the first time in our lives. That night my husband toiled over this mind-boggling situation trying to figure out where we went wrong. He figured out that our mortgage was sold to another company, and we did not submit all of the paperwork for our mortgage insurance.

This morning we started out with rocky attitudes. Then I said to my husband, "we should not let our circumstances dictate our attitudes, but our attitudes most certainly should influence our circumstances."

We went back to Jackson Hewitt with the correct paperwork. In order to fix the problem, we had to file an amendment to the original. Thanks to Joe and Tinnia (pronounced Tina), not only did we not owe after this amendment, but now we are getting back more than twice of what we owed. This experience is a true testament to how good God is because had we brought in the correct paperwork the day before, we still would have owed. You see my new BFF Tinnia is the supervisor at Jackson Hewitt, and she was able to to a little more finagling for us than the person we saw yesterday. Everything happens for a reason!

~Joan

Wordless Wednesday: Wanna get poked?

2009-03-11T09:07:00.002-04:00

Mind out of the gutter people. Click the picture to find out how Pokens can change your networking life!

~Joan

Timeout Tuesday: Timeout for Shout Outs

2009-03-10T00:00:00.000-04:00

I am sooooooooo behind on stuff in general, so here it goes:

Giveaways
***Stop over and see Juls at Every Day Is A Crazee Day for some March ~~Madness~~ Crazeeness. She's doing a great giveaway with lots of cool stuff!
***Check out Ryan Ashley at Optimistic Cynicism for her OPI giveaway.
***Christie-A Work in Progress aka The Chatterbox is helping us become more eco-friendly with the Wonderwash from Laundry Alternative and Mini Spintop Dryer giveaway on The Chatterbox Reviews. Okay, part of this contest is to post a pic of your laundry room. Here is what mine currently looks like. Such a poor representation.....it usually looks 10 times worse! Yes I did contemplate throwing a bunch of clothes in their for show, but that would not have been honest now would it? I would use this product to wash more frequently because my husband somehow manages to produce enough clothes for a family of 6 on a weekly basis. Since this is a quicker way to wash, I can get more loads done and finally feel like there is no laundry to do. Is that even possible?

Wish me luck on all of the contests! I hope you win too!

What's Going On?
***Some of you may have noticed my new widgets in the sidebar. My sister and I are participating in the Great Urban Race for the second year in a row. It's like the Amazing Race on CBS, but on a much smaller scale. It takes place in major cities across the country. Teams compete by following a series of clues around the city to the end of the race. The top 25 teams from each city get to go to Las Vegas to compete for a $25,000 grand prize. Last year we came in 154th out of 205 teams (Christie will correct me if I'm wrong). It was a 5 hour race, and about 30 minutes in, it monsooned and never stopped. We persevered and finished the race even though we knew we weren't winning and several teams had dropped out due to the rain. I am very proud that we finished and I hope that we can be strong contenders this year. The race is on April 18th, so wish us luck!

***Some of you may have been wondering why you see my big face on that little body running on the right. On April 25th, I will be participating in my second March for Babies. This organization raises money for research and care for preemies. One of my dearest friends has a preemie and we are walking in honor of him. If you would like to donate to a worthy cause, click here or click the banner at the top of this page or just click on the link under my big face. Thanks for your support!
***Finally........The Red Pump Project is a campaign to raise awareness about the effect of HIV/Aids on women and girls.

•Please tell more female bloggers to support the cause.

•The official The Red Pump Project page is now up ( http://theredpumpproject.blogspot.com/ ). Please check it out. By March 10th, there will be a lot more content on it, including a way to donate to the cause. The page will also serve as a resource well for HIV/AIDS & women (even after March 10th).

•Please send luvvieblog@gmaill.com the link to your blog. She is creating a blogroll of the Rockers of the Red Pump. Your site will also be listed on a post on her blog, (http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com/ ), Karyn's ( http://thefabulousgiver.wordpress.com/ ), and The Red Pump Project's on that day.
•When your email is received, you will receive more info on how to get the widgets.

Whew! Okay. Now I can breathe.

Oh........and one more thing....in case you've been living under a rock......Stesha aka Wenda at Hot Chocolate Caramel Mocha had her twins!!!!!!!! Congrats to the family! I can't wait for the pics!

Oops and one last thing.......Chatterbox Radio is now on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 10:00am-10:45am. Please tune in each week for 3 times the fun!

Okay. i'm really done now. I think...

~Joan

Mr. and Mrs. Murphy Monday: Whose Funeral is it Anyway?

2009-03-09T00:00:00.000-04:00

About a year or two ago, my husband and I attended my Aunt Juanita's funeral (may she rest in peace). Just to put my relationship in context, Aunt Juanita was my Dad's aunt by marriage. I was able to see family members I hadn't seen in a very long time and introduce my hubby to some folks he hadn't met yet. Funerals are strange that way........the occasion is sad, but they always seem to turn into family reunions.

Anyhoo, the funeral had just ended and hubs and I got into the car to join the procession to the cemetery--or so we thought. The little man came by with the orange funeral sticker and stuck in our window. The black hearse drove by followed by cars with their orange funeral stickers. When the opportunity presented itself, we jumped in the line.

When we arrived at the cemetery, we followed the cars up the hill and then parked along with everyone else (okay, okay, I'll speed it up). So people start getting out of their cars, and just as my husband begins to step out of the car:

Me: Wait! I don't see anybody I know.

Hubby: What do you mean? Where's your dad and everyone else?

Me: I don't know, but I don't recognize any of these people. This is not my family.

Hubby gets back into the car. We start driving around the cemetery assuming we took a wrong turn and got in the wrong line. We scoped out several burial sites to see if I could spot any of my family members. No luck. I thought to myself, I know I haven't seen them in a long time, but you'd think I'd recognize somebody. Not to mention we just saw them all at the funeral. After, driving around the entire cemetery, we gave up our search. I called my cousin to try to get to the bottom of this mystery:

Me: Hey, where are you?

Cousin: We're on the way to the house. Why weren't you at the cemetery?

Me: We followed the procession, but apparently we ended up at the wrong cemetery. We went to Cemetery A .

Cousin: Cemetery A?! That's all the way on the other side of town. The burial was at Cemetery B.

Me: (talking to my husband now) The burial was at Cemetery B.

Hubby: Cemetery B?! That's all the way on the other side of town!

Me: I know!

Hubby: Well, how did we end up here?

Me: I don't know. We must've gotten in the wrong funeral procession.

Cousin: (speaking to other family members in the background) Mr. and Mrs. Murphy went to the wrong cemetery. Hahahahahahahaha!

Family: (guffawing in the background) What? They went where? Hahahahahahaha! Cemetery A?! Hahahahaha!

Cousin: Well, are you coming to the repast?

Me: No. I think we've had enough adventure and embarrassment for one day. You all can just feel free to laugh and talk about us behind our backs. Thanks!

Cousin: Okay, bye. Hahahahahahaha (while hanging up the phone)!

Leave it to Mr. and Mrs. Murphy to bring comic relief to a funeral. What are the odds that another funeral procession would be passing by the funeral home where we were precisely at the time when we were getting ready to leave?

~Joan

(Not So) Wordless Wednesday: Rumor Control

2009-03-04T00:00:00.000-05:00

I am Joan of All Trades who is also KGW residing in DiverCity, USA. To my left (or right if you are anal about it) is my actual biological sister The Chatterbox or Christie A Work in Progress who is planning a Funeral for her Fat Pants and helping people be Inspired 2 Write. Yes, the children in some of my pictures and content in blog posts are hers. Any questions?

~Joan

Six Word Saturday: Do I look like I'm 1929?

2009-02-28T23:13:00.003-05:00

I'm getting a little sick of Blogger and Google Gone Wild. When will the madness end?! Blogger has my age listed as 1929! And I can't change it! I have the correct age when I edit my profile, but it is still listing me 1900 years older than I really am. What are your Blogger/Google woes? Vent here....
~Joan

Freestyle Friday: I Heart NY!

2009-02-26T19:28:00.020-05:00

It's Freestyle Friday which means I'm writing about whatever. I've been traveling back and forth to NY for work, and I am now on my second trip. Here are some pics from my first trip. Enjoy!

So I'm looking up at this sign on the subway car that says, "Sexual harrassment is a crime on the subway too. Just because the subway is crowded does not mean it's okay to be touched inappropriately. Please report any sexual harrassment to the MTA police." Wow! It never dawned on me that people would be trying to get cheap feels on the subway, but I guess it is kinda convenient for a pervert when everybody's all scrunched up on the train butt to butt and butt to--well anyway, you get the picture. It's just sad that's all because it must be a pretty common problem if they had to put signs up about it.

Times Square subway station is huge! I had to walk from one side to the other to get to work every day.

New York subways make me want to take a shower immediately!

Nobody seems to care about the sign that tells you not to push the doors open. Doors close on you and you just tough it out. Pushing is perfectly normal in the NY subway.

Here's a picture of Times Square at night. This is the only day I got to do something besides work.

Times Square

Here's NY's finest on horse patrol. You can't see it, but this horse was foaming and slobbering at the mouth something terrible! This lady just kept petting away ignoring the nasty horse spit.

I decided to take a trip to NY's Hell's Kitchen since I'm such a fan of the show. However, I was not aware that there is a whole neighborhood in NY called Hell's Kitchen. When I arrived at what I thought should have been the restaurant, imagine my dismay when I saw this hardware store. I was so upset because I thought I had been deceived by my internet search. The man inside the stor assured me the restaurant was down the street.......and it was. Every store on that street is called Hell's Kitchen something or other.

Sorry, I was so hungry that my greedy behind started eating before I could take a picture. Those are scallops on tostada chips with sweet potato puree with guacamole (sounds strange I know, but it was delicious). In front of that plate are some cornbread thingies and a really good black bean dip.

This butternut squash soup with chile and marscapone cheese warmed my heart!

OMG! I almost died and went to pumpkin heave after eating this pumpkin bread pudding topped with cinnamon ice cream with strawberries, blueberries, and a dulce de leche sauce. Delectable! Did I ever tell you how much I love pumpkin and it's the only reason I can live through the winter?

This is the Louis Vuitton store inside of Bloomingdales.

You can't tell from this picture, but Bloomingdales has 10 floors! I'm glad I don't like to shop because I would have lost my mind. I even had to fight the urge......it just seemed like the right thing to do with all these great stores surrounding me.

H&M

All of these people were standing outside of Vickie's so that they could get autographs from some of the models inside. I decided to pass since it was cold and I had never heard of any of the models anyway. I stayed just a couple of blocks away from all of these stores in the heart of Midtown Manhattan in a fabulous apartment. I so wish I could show you pictures, but since it's not my apartment I can't. Stay tuned for more adventures in New York!

~Joan

Thankful Thursday: Your Comments

2009-02-26T00:00:00.001-05:00

I first want to give a BIG THANK YOU to all 20 of my followers (well at least it was 20 before he Google Gone Wild fiasco. #20 I know you're out there somewhere. COME BACK!)! It may not seem like a lot to those of you who have 100+ followers, but I am super excited about having 20. So thank you for your continued support.

On to the comments.........This is my response to last Saturday's Comment Replies post. Thank you all for your insight into comment etiquette. I got varying comments that encompassed all 4 of my comment reply options. Based on my evaluation of your comments I've decided on the following rules for myself:

1. When I get a large number of comments that have questions and topics that warrant the continuation of a conversation (such as in this post), I will write a new post to answer questions and continue the conversation.
2. When people ask me individual questions, I will respond via email or through commenting on their blog.
3. I will not reply to comments in the comment section of my own post because it seems like people aren't really coming back to check.

Thanks again for all of your ideas and expertise. I love bouncing things off of my bloggy buddies. You guys rock!

~Joan

Wordless Wednesday: Would you want this person serving your food?

2009-02-25T00:00:00.000-05:00

Yep! That's a belly hanging out from the bottom of that t-shirt. Am I the only one that sees something wrong with this picture?

~Joan

Timeout Tuesday: Haunted Hotel?

2009-02-24T00:00:00.006-05:00

Last week I was staying at a Hampton Inn Hotel for work. I woke up in the morning and got into the shower. When I finished my shower, I opened the curtain and this is what I saw written on the mirror:

Jeffery,
Love you!
Love,
Your Wife

This picture is not what I saw, but it's very similar.

TIMEOUT! This was some stuff straight out of a horror flick. I was so freaked out by this. My heart started racing. I started praying and talking to myself out loud. I had to resist the temptation to go running into the hall naked and screaming for help. I am such a scaredy cat! I'm afraid of the dark and terrified of horror movies. This had to be some kind of a sick joke. Was I being punk'd?

I wiped the mirror off with a towel and got ready as fast as I could. I went down to the lobby still spooked. I told the lady at the front desk what happened and asked her to have someone Windex the hell out of that mirror. I told my co-worker who was staying there as well that if I got out of the shower the next day with another love letter on that mirror that I was getting the heck out of dodge and never coming back.

Thank God there was nothing there the next day! I wonder who Jeffery is and if he ever got to see his love letter. So weird......

~Joan

Mr. and Mrs. Murphy Monday: Driving Mr. and Mrs. Daisy

2009-02-23T00:00:00.002-05:00

My family has nicknamed me and my hubby Mr. and Mrs. Murphy because of the random stuff that always seems to be happening to us. You know Murphy's Law; "Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way." I don't look at myself as cursed, but as someone who is very blessed. Weird things just happen to me, that's all. This Monday I'll share a story that happened to us a couple of years ago when we were still living in Maryland:

We were at our favorite restaurant, Timpano's in Rockville, MD. It had just begun to snow and we left the restaurant. We got into the car and closed the door. In my car, the dome light goes off when you close the door. This time was no different until...........we hear a click and suddenly the light pops back on. I'm just sitting there wondering why the light came back on, but my hubby begins to yell:

Turning head to the backseat

Hubby: Hey! Hey! Get outta here! Go!

Me: What tha?

I turned around to see an elderly couple sitting in our backseat looking like deer in headlights . They said nothing and just got out of the car and closed the door. My husband and I just stared at each other and laughed. Neither one of us remembered driving Mr. and Mrs. Daisy to the restaurant that night, so we could not figure out for the life of us why or how they ended up in our backseat. Didn't they see us get in the car first? I mean they got in like 2 seconds after we did. I think those old people had too much to drink or something. The look on their faces (like, "you aren't our drivers") was so hilarious. But the funniest part was my husband screaming at those poor old people like they were trying to rob us or something. This is a true testament to why you should lock your doors immediately when you get in the car. Just a day in the life of Mr. and Mrs. Murphy.

~Joan

Comment Replies

2009-02-21T22:27:00.003-05:00

Okay blogsperts......I have a burning question. Often times when people comment they ask questions about something said in a post. There are several ways to go about replying to the questions:
1. Send an email to the person.
2. Answer the question in a comment you leave on the questioner's blog.
3. Leave a comment on your own blog answering any questions that were posed.
4. Write a new post answering questions.

I normally do number 1 or 2 (heads out of the gutter folks). I see a lot of people doing number 2, but do you all really go back to see if someone answered your question in their comments? I go back and check sometimes. What are your thoughts? Is there some sort of blog etiquette I'm suppose to follow? Please help!

~Joan

Tagmania: 100 Things

2009-02-20T00:29:00.000-05:00

Got this game from Ryan Ashley at Optimistic Cynicism who got it from Megan over at INfertile Myrtle. Anyone can play along, just BOLD the things you have done.

1. Started your own blog.

2. Slept under the stars.

3. Played in a band.

4. Visited Hawaii.

5. Watched a meteor shower.

6. Given more than you can afford to charity.

7. Been to Disneyland.

8. Climbed a mountain.

9. Held a praying mantis.

10. Sang a solo.

11. Bungee jumped.

12. Visited Paris.

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.

15. Adopted a child.

16. Had food poisoning.

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.

18. Grown your own vegetables.

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.

20. Slept on an overnight train.

21. Had a pillow fight.

22. Hitch hiked.

23. Taken a sick day when you're not sick.

24. Built a snow fort.

25. Held a lamb.

26. Gone skinny dipping.

27. Run a marathon.

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.

29. Seen a total eclipse.

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.

31. Hit a home run.

32. Been on a cruise.

33. Seen Niagra Falls in person.

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.

35. Seen and Amish community.

36. Taught yourself a new language.

37. Had enough money to truly be satisfied.

38. Seen the leaning tower of Pisa in person.

39. Gone rock climbing.

40. Seen Michelangelo's David.

41. Sung karaoke.

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.

44. Visited Africa.

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.

46. Been transported in an ambulance.

47. Had your portrait painted.

48. Gone deep sea fishing.

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling.

52. Kissed in the rain.

53. Played in the mud.

54. Gone to a drive-in theater.

55. Been in a movie.

56. Visited the Great Wall of China.

57. Started a business.

58. Taken a martial arts class.

59. Visited Russia.

60. Served in a soup kitchen.

61. Sold Girl Scout cookies.

62. Gone whale watching.

63. Gotten flowers for no reason.

64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma.

65. Gone sky diving.

66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp.

67. Bounced a check.

68. Flown in a helicopter.

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.

71. Eaten caviar.

72. Pieced a quilt.

73. Stood in Times Square.

74. Toured the Everglades.

75. Been fired from a job.

76. Seen the changing of the guards in London.

77. Broken a bone.

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.

80. Published a book.

81. Been to the Vatican.

82. Bought a brand new car.

83. Walked in Jerusalem.

84. Had your picture in the paper.

85. Read the entire Bible.

86. Visited the White House.

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.

88. Had Chicken pox.

89. Saved someone's life.

90. Sat on a jury.

91. Met someone famous.

92. Joined a book club.

93. Lost a loved one.

94. Had a baby.

95. Seen the Alamo in person.

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake.

97. Been involved in a lawsuit.

98. Owned a cell phone.

99. Been stung by a bee.

100. Read an entire book in one day.

~Joan

Thankful Thursday: Shameless Plug

2009-02-18T00:00:00.002-05:00

This Thursday I am thankful for my other blog (did you even know I had another one) because it's my first love in the blog world. I started DiverCity, USA because I am passionate about all things diverse. I've kind of been neglecting my diversity blog since I've created my alter ego Joan (nope, Joan is not my real name). I have not lost the passion, and I'd like to start posting over there a little more often, so here's my shameless plug for you all to go over and check out my other blog. Enjoy!

~Joan

Wordless Wednesday: Improvisation at its Best

2009-02-18T00:00:00.000-05:00

This is what happens when you ask me to babysit and ~~don't leave me~~ I forget to ask you for the stroller to feed your child in. Yes, that is a belt around his waist.

~Joan

Spiritual Sunday on Monday: Heart Songs

2009-02-15T22:32:00.007-05:00

I'm a little late, but I just had to share yesterday's worship experience with you. At Impact Church, our motto is "Doing Church Differently," and that's exactly what we did yesterday. Each pastor chose their favorite love song, and the praise and worship team sang all of the favorite songs. The pastors all explained why they chose the songs and how their love songs can be applied to their love for God. It was truly an awesome experience, and my video below does not give it justice. They sang everything from Stevie Wonder's "All I Do" to LL Cool J's "I Need Love." I apologize for the horrible quality of the video, but I took it from my phone. Hope you enjoy anyway!

~Joan

Six Word Saturday: Happy Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T10:39:00.003-05:00

MY HUSBAND PROPOSED ON VALENTINE'S DAY!

~Joan

Freebie Friday

2009-02-13T10:10:00.002-05:00

It's February and I'm in the mood for spreading the love! In addition to my occasional freebies, I would like to host your giveaways/freebies on my blog. Please contact me if you would like to host your giveaway/freebie on my blog on Fridays.

Who has already taken advantage:
*eBookGuru.org--Click here to receive free ebooks!
*Jaydee at Life in the Lost World--Click here to win a $25 Gift Card to Ideal Poultry!

and as always...

This Week's Friday Freebie:
The first person who leaves a comment expressing interest wins a $10 off coupon for any editing service. This coupon will expire February 13, 2010.

Don't forget to tell your friends and stop by next Friday for another freebie!

~Joan

Wordless Wednesday: Who Knew?

2009-02-11T20:42:00.002-05:00

Who knew the president would be so appreciative of my shout outs to him that he would meet me in Time Square for a fist bump?!

~Joan

Grammy's Gossip

2009-02-09T06:38:00.003-05:00

I apologize for my absence in the blog world, but I'm working in NY and my apartment has no internet! I promise I'll be around later to give some comment love and catch up with all of my faithful readers. I normally don't do this but, okay, here's my Grammy's Gossip:
• Poor Whitney is still acting like a crack head. Why do they keep letting her speak?
• I am so happy for Jennifer Hudson, but her 1st dress was a hot mess. Her 2nd one was much better and she did a wonderful tribute to all of those who supported her through her time of mourning.
• I bet Boyz II Men never thought they’d be singing back up for Al Green and Justin Timberlake.
• Jay-Z and Cold Play collabo…….what?! I liked the performance, but what’s up with the lead singer’s high waters?
• Al B Sure’s son is the spitting image of him, yet he’s always with Diddy. What’s up with that? I know he’s Kim Porter’s son, but I find it peculiar that that he’s always with Diddy and not his own Daddy.
• Carrie Underwood ripped it. You go girl!
• Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrrus sounded horrible! Ouch! My ears are still ringing!
• Who the hell is Robert Plant and Alison Krauss (Best Collaboration w/ Vocals and Album of the year)?
• I don’t get the craze over the Jonas Brothers. Are they like the modern day New Kids on the Block or New Edition? Maybe not because they play instruments. They strike me as boys who would have otherwise been geeks, but now that they’re famous, they’re super cool and cute.
• Kissed a girl chick didn’t seem to do so well live.
• I can’t stand Kanye West’s new look. He looks like a fricken clown! The 1982 look is so not cute.
• Who is Adele? She seems interesting. She should have combed her hair though and she definitely should not have been smacking on that gum. How tacky! I like the song she performed.
• MIA’s “Swagger Like Us”……..um eww! She was like 9 months pregnant and half naked. Was I the only one who was frightened by this performance? All I could think of was her water breaking on Lil Wayne’s Air Force Ones.
• What—no Beyonce? What’s a Grammy’s without Beyonce? Did her album not make the cut-off date or something?
• Sugarland is really growing on me. I really like their song “Stay”.
• I liked Radiohead’s performance even though I couldn’t understand what the hell he was saying.
• J.T and T.I…..loved it!
• Was it just me or did they give out like 10 lifetime achievement awards?
• Nice tribute to the Fours Tops.
• I must admit I had no idea that Neil Diamond was singing “Sweet Caroline” until he got to the chorus.
• Lil Wayne and Robin Thicke’s Hurricane Katrina song and the tribute to NO music was awesome!
• Stevie Wonder shows up everywhere and I never get tired of him. He’s timeless!

Overall, I really enjoyed the Grammy’s. I actually watched the whole thing. I don’t think I’ve ever done that before. What are your thoughts on this year’s Grammy Awards?

~Joan

FABULOUS AT 50!

2009-02-06T23:36:00.005-05:00

No, it's not my birthday........IT'S MY 50TH POST DAY! Here are 50 reasons why I'm glad I started this blog:

1. Christie at My Life-A Work in Progress and Funeral for My Fat Pants and Chatterbox Reviews
2. Stesha at Hot Chocolate Caramel Mocha
3. From the desk of me...at How Full is Your Bucket?
4. Pecanglo at Help! I really want to blog!
5. Puanani at Luscious Deals
6. Pamela at Aunt Pam's Closet
7. Ryan Ashley at Optimistic Cynicism
8. Alicia at More Than Words
9. Kel at Girl with the Glasses and Girl with Books
10. Francesca at 3 Bay B Chicks
11. Angela at Hanging with Mrs. Cooper
12. Juls at Every Day is a Crazee Day
13. T. Allen Mercado at Tea and Honey Bread
14. Janet Gephart at Ella Scott Jewels
15. Felicia at I Complete Me
16. Denise at Motivation Mama
17. Denene at My Brown Baby
18. Renee at Cutie Booty Cakes
19. Penny Pinching Diva
20. TBS at The Broke Socialite

These 20 wonderful ladies have been showing me love and have made me laugh, smile, cry, shout, rethink, write, and move. Check these fabulous sisters out and show them some love!

21. I write and you actually read it. Thanks!
22. I am able to offer my editing services.
23. Freebies and Contests
24. Getting Tagged
25. Receiving blog awards
26. It's fun!
27. Twitter
28. I'm motivated.
29. It's nice to see that "it's not just me" sometimes
30. I get to observe the limitless talent of others.
31. I can fill someone's bucket everyday (see #3).
32. Comments! (nuff said)
33. Followers (If you're not following me, what are you waiting for?)
34. SITS
35. I love looking at people's cool blog designs.
36. I can show other people love.
37. I can pretty much say whatever I want.
38. I've found causes to support.
39. It gives me a reason and a platform to get my thoughts out of my head.
40. I can share my latest Wii shenanigans and have everyone up in arms.
41. Keep it Classy Jen at The Classy Closet BTR Show

42. It's an obsession I don't mind.
43. I love getting ideas for new memes.
44. Motivational Monday
45. Thankful Thursday
46. Time Out Tuesday
47. Spiritual Sunday
48. Wordless Wednesday
49. Six Word Saturday
50. I can celebrate me and you!

Thanks for supporting me on my journey through the blogosphere! Why are you glad you started your blog?

~Joan

Freebie Friday: Host Your Giveaway on My Blog!

2009-02-06T00:00:00.009-05:00

Who has already taken advantage:

*eBookGuru.org--Click here to receive free ebooks!

*Juls at Every Day is a Crazee Day--Click here for a surprise giveaway!

*Janet at Ella Scott Jewels--Click here to win some cute earrings! Hurry, contest ends at 8pm EST!

*Jaydee at Life in the Lost World--Click here to win a $25 Gift Card to Ideal Poultry!

*Pat at The World of Within--Click here to receive free teleclasses on Self/Body Acceptance (classes start Monday) and here to download some inspiration!

and as always...

This Week's Friday Freebie:
The first person who leaves a comment expressing interest wins a $10 off coupon for any editing service. This coupon will expire February 6, 2010.

Don't forget to tell your friends and stop by next Friday for another freebie!

~Joan

Three Word Thursday

2009-02-05T00:00:00.001-05:00

I am at a total loss for what to post about today, so I decided to start a new meme--Three Word Thursday. I managed to pull my greatest number of comments this past Saturday for Six Word Saturday, and I only wrote 6 words. Do you all want less from me? Well here it goes:

I HAVE NOTHING!

~Joan

Wii Wednesday: Unfit Parent Part II

2009-02-04T00:00:00.001-05:00

A lot of readers were a little frightened by last week's Wii Wednesday: Unfit Parent post. Apparently you weren't the only ones. I'm kind of on both sides of the fence with this one. On one hand, it seems that Wii Fit was intended for adults even though it's rated E for everyone. On the other hand, Grand Theft Auto is rated M for mature and you see who is playing that game. The Wii Fit is a little spirit crushing when it plumps you out due to being overweight or obese. However, I think the positive elements like the personal trainer, progress tracking, and the workouts far outweigh the not-so-pretty wittiness of the Wii. I'm sure Nintendo will hear the cries of the people and modify the game. If the Wii Fit can tell me that I am not paying enough attention to my niece, I'm sure it can come up with a way to go easy on the kiddies when they step on the Wii Fit Board. Don't give up on Wii Fit folks. I still think it's a must-have!

~Joan

Timeout Tuesday: Are You Inspired 2 Write?

2009-02-03T00:00:00.002-05:00

Christie at My life-A Work in Progress a.k.a. Chatterboxcgc a.k.a. my wonderful sister has just launched her newest venture as a Creativity Coach:
Inspired 2 Write
A Division of CGC Connections - Life Empowerment for Women

A support and resource center for personal and professional writers

Bloggers / Authors / Freelancers / Screenwriters
Anyone who has a passion for putting pen to paper or fingers to keys is Inspired 2 Write! Whether you have been published already or you haven't even gotten started, this is the place for you to gain the support and resources to start, finish, and even sell your work! Click here for more information.
Christie has a passion for inspiring people and helping them cultivate their authentic selves. If you haven't been to Christie's blogs or listened to her BTR show (see right sidebar) or followed her on twitter yet, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? This woman's talent is endless, and I'm not just saying this because I'm her sister (Check out my comments on yesterday's post where other bloggers shouted her out without my prompting.).

~Joan

Motivational Monday: Who's in your Fave 5?

2009-02-02T00:00:00.000-05:00

This week's Motivational Monday Fave 5 is my top 5 speakers who motivate me:

1. President Barack Obama (Duh!)--This remarkable man has not only captured the attention of our nation, but he has the attention of the whole world!

2. Olu Brown (Lead Pastor at Impact Church)--Olu is the pastor at my church and has a way of reaching all audiences when he preaches. If you click on the link you can listen to his sermons.

3. Maya Angelou--Maya Angelou is my favorite author and poet. She has so much wisdom and such a peace about her.

4. Michael Eric Dyson--M.E.D. is a dynamic speaker, and I often find myself grabbing for a dictionary when he speaks. His oration is just so eloquent and intelligent, yet down to earth. He makes you want to step up your game.

5. Joel Osteen--Joel Osteen is the famous pastor of Lakewood church in Texas. I love the positive messages he sends through his sermons. He has a calmness about him that just makes you want to listen when he speaks.

Who's in your Fave 5?

~Joan

Saucy Sunday: In case you haven't heard...

2009-02-01T00:00:00.001-05:00

...MY BLOG IS SAUCY!

I must say that I am shocked, yet pleasantly surprised. I left the house at 6am yesterday, and checked my email from my phone. My inbox was full of people telling me that I'm saucy. I was thinking, what's going on? It never occured to me that my blog might have be chosen as saucy on SITS! Thank you for all of your congratulations and sweet comments. I am truly honored, and I really appreciate all of my followers and faithful commenters. Thanks for the bloggy love...right back at cha!

Since February is the month of love, I'd like to show some love to my followers. If you are following me as of February 1, 2009, you are eligible for 20% off of any of my editing services for the month of February. Just send me an email with your service request.
~Joan

Six Word Saturday

2009-01-31T00:00:00.000-05:00

I SURVIVED NATIONAL BLOG POSTING MONTH!

I got this meme from Ryan Ashley at Optimistic Cynicism. Go check her out!

~Joan

Freebie Friday: $10 Coupon

2009-01-30T00:00:00.001-05:00

This Week's Friday Freebie:

The first person who leaves a comment expressing interest wins a $10 off coupon for any editing service . This coupon will expire January 30, 2010.

Don't forget to tell your friends and stop by next Friday for another freebie!

~Joan

Thankful Thursday: Dear Oprah

2009-01-29T00:00:00.001-05:00

Here is an abridged version of a letter I wrote to Oprah a couple of years ago about my sister who I am very very thankful for:

Dear Oprah,

I am writing to tell you about my phenomenal sister. My sister has always been an angel looking after me. When I went off to college in 1997, she wrote a survival manual to help guide me through college life. It had everything I needed to know in order to graduate safely and successfully. Unfortunately, I didn't read the whole thing and it collected dust until I graduated in 2001. I ended up making so many mistakes that her manual could have prevented me from making. My sister is truly an expert on life, and whenever any of her friends or family members want to do something life changing, they always go to her for advice.

In 2006, I got engaged on Valentine's Day and immediately began to enthusiastically plan my wedding. Unfortunately, a few months after I got engaged, I fell on some hard times. I was ready to give up on my wedding plans completely. For the next few months my sister stopped working and engaging in her daily routines so that she could almost single-handedly plan and give me the wedding of my dreams. I got married on June 3, 2006. If it weren't for my sister, I still probably would not be married, or I would have just settled for a justice of the peace wedding.

After the wedding, I stayed home for the summer, and she began to rewrite the college survival manual for publishing. I could never repay my sister for giving me such a fabulous wedding. However, I was able to spend the summer editing and writing the introduction for her book.

Shortly after publishing her book, Your Big Sister’s Guide to Surviving College, she decided to dissolve her office relocation business and start a new business doing what she does best—inspiring! She is now a certified life coach and has transformed CGC Consultant Group into CGC Connections: A Life Enrichment Company. She is truly the best “Big Sister” a girl could ever have.

Please excuse the fuzzy picture. I had to do some editing to cut people out. Can you believe I don't have any recent pictures of just me and my sister? (This is an old picture.)

~Joan

Wii Wednesday: Unfit Parent

2009-01-28T00:00:00.001-05:00

So yesterday I decided to do my Wii Fit test and a little Wii fit training (BTW my Wii fit age is 31--yay!). As I've said before, the Wii is very smart.......it talks to you and gives you advice--sometimes too much. The Wii always remembers the last person who used it, so if you're the next person to use it, it will tell you a little about the previous person (ie: Sean had a good workout yesterday. Glad to see you're trying to catch up with him. Have you eaten breakfast this morning? You know, normal Wii talk.). Anyhoo, my 4 year old niece was the last person to use the Wii fit. So when I got on yesterday morning, the Wii started talking trash! It was like, "Kennedy's [my niece] balance was a hot mess last time. Have you noticed her falling over? Has her balance improved any?" So I just picked any answer and said no her balance has not changed. I was quickly clicking through the annoying prompts so the darn thing would shut up about my niece and focus on me and then this screen pops up:

What tha...?! Okay Mr. Wii fit, you've gone too far! I guess the Wii looked at our ages and assumed I was Kennedy's mother. I could be acting a little paranoid, but did the Wii just call me an unfit parent? Can you believe the nerve? I mean it used red font color and ended the statement with an exclamation point! I actually think it has an attitude with me. I must say, I still love the Wii, but dang it can get all up in your bizness! Has anybody else experienced this or is it just me?
~Joan

Timeout Tuesday: Quiche?

2009-01-27T00:00:00.003-05:00

So last night I made quiche for dinner. Timeout! I don't cook. My hubby cooks, not me. Now I will admit, I do know how to make 3 or 4 things--quiche not being one of them. My original plan was to make Eggplant Parmesan, but when I cut into the eggplant it was all brown and squishy. Consequently, I had to look for something else.......let's see.........egg beaters, whipping cream, frozen spinach, pie shell, a barrage of cheeses, tomatoes, and onions--quiche it is! I've never made quiche before, but my husband and my mother-in-law make it all the time. I could have easily called either one of them to ask how to make it, but they make me nervous because they are such great cooks. They're always like, "all you have to do is..." and 10 hours later I'm crying in the kitchen without an edible morsel of food. I decided to go online, and I found the following recipe from Chef Mike:

*9 inch deep dish pie crust

*1 cup of heavy cream
*1 cup or 5 large eggs
*about 1 1/2 cups of grated cheese
*1 1/2 cups of whatever your heart desires:
roasted vegetables, chopped up
ham and mushrooms
bacon and grilled onions
crab
you name it
Mix the eggs and cream together, season with salt and pepper, and then use the herbs that will compliment your filling. I almost always like a bit of grated nutmeg. Spread the cheese in the bottom of the pie first, then put the cooled ingredients over the cheese. Pour the egg and cream mixture over the top. Make sure that the liquid pretty much covers all the ingredients. If a little of the ingredients are showing, that's ok.Bake in a preheated oven at 325F for about 25 minutes or until the eggs have set. And VOILA, Quiche.

Considering the fact that half my ingredients were substitutes (egg beaters instead of eggs, whipping cream was expired so I used evaporated milk, I used mozzarella cheese and was informed later by my hubby that "you're supposed to use Swiss cheese in quiche"--who knew?), it actually wasn't half bad. It was kind of tasty and hubby liked it too. Maybe I'm not such a disaster in the kitchen after all.

~Joan

Motivational Monday: Who's in your Fave 5?

2009-01-25T23:53:00.003-05:00

Here's a slight twist that I'm going to add to my Motivational Mondays. I am going to "borrow" T-Mobile's Who's in Your Fave 5 concept, and post my top 5 motivators in different aspects of my life. So I'll start right here with my motivators on the World Wide Web. Today's motivation is dedicated to my current Fave 5 bloggy buddies who motivate me to continue my journey through cyberspace (I have lots of wonderful bloggy buddies, so please don't be offended if you are not on the list. This is meant to be a shout out, not down. I love you ALL!) So here is some linky love for my Fave 5 (in no particular order):

1. Christie at My Life-A Work in Progress
2. Stesha at Hot Chocolate Caramel Mocha
3. Denise at Motivation Mama
4. Denene at My Brown Baby
5. Renee at Cutie Booty Cakes

These ladies truly make you want to step up your game. Thanks for being awesome, inspirational women and mothers.......and thanks for motivating me!

Check out what these ladies have to say, and show them some comment love. Who's in your Fave 5? Make sure you show them some linky love in your comment.

~Joan

Spiritual Sunday: This Too Shall Pass

2009-01-25T13:47:00.006-05:00

If you don't do anything else, play the beautiful song below.

Today's Scripture Luke 7: 11-16
11Soon afterward, Jesus went to a town called Nain, and his disciples and a large crowd went along with him. 12As he approached the town gate, a dead person was being carried out—the only son of his mother, and she was a widow. And a large crowd from the town was with her. 13When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her and he said, "Don't cry."
14Then he went up and touched the coffin, and those carrying it stood still. He said, "Young man, I say to you, get up!" 15The dead man sat up and began to talk, and Jesus gave him back to his mother.
16They were all filled with awe and praised God. "A great prophet has appeared among us," they said. "God has come to help his people."

Today's Sermon Title
After the Funeral

Today's Message (talking points from Impact Church's pastor Olu Brown are in bold)
Mourning the death of a loved one is one of the hardest things we go through in life. We often find ourselves asking God, "Why me?" In addition to death, there are other hopeless situations we might find ourselves in--a painful divorce, abuse, addiction, life threatening diseases, etc. We struggle through these painful times and eventually come to the end of a journey. We mourn the relationship we lost or the old life we left behind. The old self dies and a new self is reborn. In that rebirth, God always offers us a new opportunity. An opportunity to love again...an opportunity to come clean...an opportunity to heal...an opportunity to reconile...an opportunity to live again and a chance to believe again. No matter what struggles you face in your daily life, God always has a plan for you to live again. So when you are down and out and feeling all alone, remember "this too shall pass."

Even the day after tomorrow will one day be yesterday. ~India Arie

india arie - this too shall pass
by doo-

God Bless!

~Joan

That One!

2009-01-23T23:52:00.004-05:00

Excerpt from The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman by Ernest J. Gaines copyright 1971

People’s always looking for somebody to come lead them. Go to the Old Testament; go to the New. They did it in slavery; after the war they did it; they did it in the hard times that people want to call Reconstruction; they did it in the Depression—another hard times; and they doing it now. They have always done it—and the Lord has always obliged in some way or another.

Anytime a child is born, the old people look in his face and ask him if he’s the One. No, they don’t say it out loud like I’m saying it to you now. Maybe they don’t say it at all; maybe they just feel it—but feel it they do. “You the One?” I’m sure Lena asked Jimmy that when she first held him in her arms. “You the One Jimmy? You the One?”

This passage from the book takes place in the late 1930's. Do you think President Obama's mother knew he was The One the first time she held him in her arms? Maybe she knew he was special, but how could she have known he was going to become That One? Here's to all of our elders and ancestors who kept hope alive and dreamt big. Thank you for pavinig the way for new leaders and believing in them before they were even born.

What an awesome week in history! Thank you for letting me share my joy with you every day!

~Joan

Freebie Friday: Buy 1 Get 1 Free

2009-01-23T00:00:00.001-05:00

This Week's Friday Freebie:

Buy 1 get 1 free (of equal or lesser value) when you purchase my blog/webpage editing services. The first 2 people to comment on this post win! Offer ends January 30, 2009.

*Note: This offer excludes the Platinum Plan.

***Presidential Bonus Freebie***

Since this week is all about President Obama, the first person who leaves a comment telling me President Obama's matriarchial grandmother's nickname and why they called her that name wins a $10 off coupon for any editing service (the more detailed the better--no half answers accepted). This coupon will expire January 23, 2010.

Don't forget to stop by next week for another freebie!

BTW--Alicia at More Than Words is doing a fab blog makeover giveaway on her blog in honor of her 250th post, so hop on over there and check her out!
~Joan

Thankful Thursday: What this inauguration means to me...

2009-01-22T00:00:00.001-05:00

The inauguration means that I can look my children in the face and believe that they can be anything they want to be. It means that I have seen something in my lifetime that my ancestors dreamed of and I never thought I would see. It means that we are more alike than unalike, and we are realizing that we are one human race. It means that the system can work, and the most qualified person for the job was chosen regardless of gender, race, age or religion. It means that hope and change are on the horizon. It means for the first time in my life, "I am REALLY proud to be an American" and part of the democratic process. It means that God answers prayers. To the Obama family and team, thank you for being an inspiration to the world. I pray for you every day. God bless!

~Joan

Wordless Wednesday: Wow

2009-01-21T00:00:00.000-05:00

Well, almost wordless....I must say that the President and the First Lady are just awesome! And Mrs. Obama, shake those haters off. You are stunning! Isn't she lovely... (in my best Stevie Wonder impression)?

~Joan

It's Not a Dream: America's First Family

2009-01-20T15:19:00.004-05:00

It's a reality! Praise God from whom all blessings flow! Let's keep our new first family and administration in our prayers.

~Joan